Tag Archives: life

A story of gratitude

God gives all these precious gifts to each and every one of us. In reality, we all prosper. Just looking at a child, growing in any surrounding, nature provides everything to that child. He or she receives a mother who nurtures him, brings food and warmth, love and security to every moment of his life. He receives a father, a protecting figure who makes sure there is a roof, a safe environment for the mother and baby. Sometimes nature gives different gifts than those, takes the mother or father away and provides a bigger challenge. Nevertheless, the child grows and prospers. Nature is wise.

In reality, our job is not to interfere with our ego-mind. What we must instruct it to do, is to become grateful for all those gifts that have been given. Grateful in every way, in every situation. That of course, doesn’t mean you become passive. It means that you can actually act from a neutral place, where you can enjoy a high perspective.

Imagine looking at a city from above.

You will see the people walking on the streets, the traffic, the rhythms. If you look closer you will see the windows of every house, holding a different story behind each of them, a family sleeping, a dog alone barking, a couple having dinner, a child playing with a cat. Among them, you will see your story, the emotional reaction you are having to this hard day, the way you are so focused in your financial situation, your worries about tomorrow, your jealousy for the couple upstairs or for the innocence of the child playing with the cat.

Zoom out again.

Realize that the couple have also their own worries. Every story behind every window has their own bubble of emotions, commotions, passions, worries, limitations.

Now what does this big picture give you? You can just accept that you are just one more of the crowd, useless, worthless, struggling like the rest.

Or you can discover the treasures you hold and be grateful for them. The smallest things like the look on your dear children when they wake up, or the food you have on the table, or the broken car which nevertheless brings you to places. Or even the old and humble furniture you hate, or the job that you don’t like but helps you to pay the bills.

We have been trained to think that the grass is always greener on the other side. It is part of a sequence in our mind, an illusion which actually helps us to develop the power of will, the power to move and to act. Yet the illusion will not bring us to happiness. It is the inner harmony with tr present moment that can only bring back to a sense of prosperity. This is all begins with recognizing, accepting and agreeing where I am standing. This is my story.
We need to stop living in our minds and rehearsing the story of the neighbor- if I had money… If I had that wife… If I was this or that. The first step to finding peace is through gratitude. However dark and gloomy my own story may seem, it is mine, and that is already a precious finding. Thank god, thank the universe, thank yourself, thank whoever and whatever that has helped you shape your story. Because it is unique and valuable as it is.

We all create our stories. There are certain patterns we follow, personal, inherited, societal, national and universal patterns which help us shape that story. Yes, you can and must become aware if those patterns and change the ones you don’t need or which are negative. Yet even each if those has been there for a purpose, whether you realise it or not, but you can be grateful for each of them.

I am grateful specially for the difficult and challenging situations in my life. Because through them, I have had to find the courage to go through, to find the light in the darkness, to wake myself up so that I can shine, to become neutral in the middle of emotion and commotion. And that I can guide others in spite of whatever turbulence is going in in my story. And at the end, that turbulence will find peace if I find the gratitude in the middle of it.

In humble service and love to the one in all,
Sukhdev Kaur

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Cold

We are driving to the countryside. It’s 8 pm and Theo is sleeping on my lap (yes, on my lap). Outside it’s pitch dark and cold. I remember how I used to fear cold when I arrived here to Estonia. That was right years ago. I was so afraid of the cold, it was a very strong fear of death. I would feel as if I would be left alone in the forest and just freeze. That feeling haunted me for some years. Sometimes it comes back to the surface. But what has happened, what is different?
I remember few occasions when I used to go cross country skiing or hiking with friends in the frozen swamps and rivers. Those were amazing experiences. Fearful ones. I remember thinking that I needed to face that fear of freezing to overcome it.
I don’t think I overcame it fully, but it helped. Going out there like that helped me in a way I didn’t expect it. I just got used to that fear. I became friends with it. I accepted the fact that it is ok to have that fear and I can live with it. Let’s better be friends than enemies. And it kind of lost its greatness with that, and with the fact that I lived one winter after another, and kind of got used to the cold.
The first time I worded what that fear was was after three years of having been here living, I went back to Mexico for a yoga training in Authentic Relationships (incidentally, it is the same that I’m organizing next week). The recognition that that fear of the cold came from a very human fear of death wasn’t very easy to guess. But it came then. And at the very end of the training, Tarn Taran Singh, who was leading that course, said that all fears actually sprout from the fear of death. Any kind of fear, be it small, stupid, deep or real, originates from the fear of death, the fear if the unknown. What if?
So we just have to accept the fact that there is no answer to that question. And it is ok if we don’t know what’s on the order side. We don’t have to know, it is beyond logic, and we just have to trust. It takes courage. It takes grit. It takes fearlessness. It takes awareness. It takes excellence. It takes grace. It takes consciousness. It takes peace if mind.
We are all one with the one. No fear will ever change that fact.
We are just riding on an amusement park. Just trust.
During those long hikes in the harsh cold, I discovered that I could’nt fight against the cold. I used to get all cramped and stiff as if that would warm me up. It was an automatic reaction. But I discovered that I better relax and merge with the cold. Be one with it. Enjoy it. BE cold. And in fact that made me warm.
Stay tuned.
In gratitude and humility to the one.
Sukhdev Kaur

God is great (in other words, waheguru!)

Dear family,

I am amazed at the human heart. I’m just coming out of two very challenging days, full of stressful moments. This being a long story full of details, I will cut it short.
Two days ago I found myself in an awkward situation, where a training that I’m organizing was about to be cancelled 3 times. The reasons being different, I was concerned the most for the commitment I made all these participants on prices and resources. A big ugly misunderstanding came across, which demanded everybody to pay much more than what we had agreed with them. I could not consider calling and saying “hey, listen now you have to pay 80 eur more on accommodation for next week”. It was just a no question. I prayed for a solution. I considered all possible options, and would have been willing to pay that compensation from my own pocket. Fortunately (or unfortunately?) my pockets are almost empty, so I had to come up with a way to make it all work out well, for everyone, not only for me. I don’t like nasty people who leave you hanging or just quit at the moment it gets challenging, and I definitely didn’t want to be that person!
So I didn’t sleep, and I prayed, and I worried.. (this last thing didn’t help definitely!)
I followed Yogijis advice, and my heart, and wrote a very honest and respectful letter, just as I would like to receive from someone in the same situation. I empathized with all the players in the game. And I diplomatically and courageously wrote my heart out. What was new to me, breaking my usual (bad) habit, was that I specifically and clearly asked for what I wanted / needed. I tend to be one who postpones direct demands, which usually lead me nowhere or into an imbalance, having to give more than the other party (e.g I was willing to put 800 eur from my own money to just save the boat, let alone receiving any money for my work).
I stated my demand in a loving yet clear way.
And no answer came.
I got more scared.
I waited.
And prayed.
And ran around the house trying to become neutral.
So I went to Guru Sahib, and made an ardas (prayer).
I bowed, and took a hukam (a message to follow, I asked for something easy to understand for my poor head)
And just as I was reading it, Theo woke up.
I didn’t get to read the English translation, which my mind longed for guidance!
So I’m in bed, breastfeeding Theo back to sleep.
And continued reading the hukam in my phone (luckily before I ran out I looked at the page number).
And these parts stroke my bells:

“Serve the True Guru fearlessly, and your doubt shall be dispelled.

Do that work which the True Guru asks you to do.

Go to the Gate of Truth, and speak the Truth”

So in this situation, this meant to start calling everybody and tell the whole story, so they would decide whether or not to continue and put in some more money for their expenses. Wow, that sounded like a very nasty job, (to be done fearlessly!) but truth was on my side. So I took this command and bowed to it.
If that is what I’m supposed to do, then I’ll do it. Thank you.
Peace came into my being, a peace full of responsibility.
And I receive an email back from the venue.
By reading my letter they agreed to come down with their prices and meet us at a common ground, keeping their original prices. Wow!
I’m just amazed at the power of the human heart, by opening up and commiting to the end, I get this reward. I had lost hope, and kept my commitment. And I clearly stated my needs (thank you NVC!)
And I’m grateful for these people who sacrificed their earnings and time to come and meet us at common grounds.
Grateful for all the learning in this experience, may it stay with me in the future.
I make a pause, contemplate the beauty of the human soulful heart, and say:
God is great!
Blessings to each and every one.

Sukhdev Kaur
(from the bed still, Theo sleeping in my arms while I’m finishing this text on my phone)

Conscious Parenting workshops in Estonia and France

Dear Family,

I am happy to announce that my long-planned project and wishes of teaching Conscious Parenting have started to crystallize. Together with my dear colleague, mother and kundalini yoga teacher trainer, Bachitar Kaur from Germany (living in the Netherlands), we have set up a series of workshops to start the project running. All information is found from our joint website on Conscious Parenting: http://www.consciousparenting.eu/

The first one of these workshops is this weekend here in Estonia, at the Haapsalu Yoga Festival. The workshop will be held in English and translated into Estonian. We will see what parenting is from the yogic perspective and I will guide through a meditation to connect with this life flow as parents. Full description of this workshop and the Haapsalu Yoga Festival you can find here:
http://www.joogafestival.ee/en/program/tootoad/tootuba-kuidas-olla-teadlik-lapsevanem/

The second, longer workshop will take place at the European Yoga Festival in Fondjouan, France. This we will teach together Bachitar Kaur and me, and we welcome all friends from all over Europe (and beyond!) to join us. It will be an experience of parents together uplifting our experience as teachers for our children. For more information go here:
http://www.3ho-kundalini-yoga.eu/en/eventsactivities/european-yoga-festival/festival-program/workshop-schedule2012/bachitar-kaur-sukhdev-kaur-netherlands-estonia/

Im looking forward to seeing you all and sharing experiences and the teachings with all of you!
In gratitude to the divine,
Sukhdev Kaur

Gratitude for life and death

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Very often I go into a sleepy state of consciousness, where I only realize what is going on in the moment and become overwhelmed by the situation. Last week, it was the sleep issue. Thanks to my dear friend and sister Guru Jagat Kaur that I realized Theo was not sleeping because he was hungry… So all those children who are put to sleep by crying might just after all be hungry, and then denied even more food by not giving them the breast… Karmic and cruel… So listening is the best thing we can do, and love our little ones.
Soon they will be grown ups and won’t need our caresses, love and arms to sleep. So let’s take the chance!

I discussed it already a few months ago, how as humans we are playing among the 1 and the 10, among the individual and the vastness. It is a habit to stay In the individual and get so frustrated and drown in our little bubbles that we forget being part of the big 10. It is our birthright and our blessing as humans to live and experience that vastness as part of our nature. Sometimes, hints like an accident put us in perspective. These accidents are blessings to remind us to come out of our bubbles and be with our souls.

The best gift I have ever had is gratitude. It is what takes me beyond the bubble and to realize all the gifts I have. Even if I haven’t slept, or even if Theo is ill… Instead of “why me?” an attitude of gratitude transforms it all into “thank god it happened to me”. My greatest gift in that realization was my daughter Vida. She came to give me that attitude, and left quickly back the way she came. This week we are celebrating her passing through this earth and through our lives two years ago — time actually goes fast.

So better enjoy the moment, serve all those who we need to serve with gratitude, and go back home in peace. No regrets, no whys, no criticism, no questioning. Pure gratitude. For the good and the bad. For life and death. For the ups and the downs. For the breath of life.

In humble service of the Naam,
Sukhdev Kaur

8 months… into the ocean

A thought has been haunting me lately about the next step in our family life. Theo is already 8 months and although it sounds funny or strange, as a mother I feel him as still that tiny baby. My mother says that even 30 years from now, to her eyes we are still the same. Many others might agree.

Yet our relationship has been evolving and changing, routine slightly evolved and grown. He acts and does more things and is now more ‘human’ like… I had Always the feeling that as a baby he was more living the life of an angel (some call them fetuses..) not really human, not really here in this world.
What is stronger is now the change of energy and in a lack if better word, what astrologers might refer to as ‘ruling house’.

When Theo was a small baby, I experienced strongly the effects of the number 1: humility, need for developing patience and endurance (those long endless nights and days which were no different from each other, wakings and crying without any possibility to do anything), the surrendering when realizing that now he is outside (it may sound logical but as experience it was (still is) quite challenging and slow to realise), the timelessness of those sleepless moments and never ending arm carrying, the infinite and ageless wisdom from his eyes, the strong foundation to be formed by the first 40 days and 3.5 months, the love and headless heart needed for the journey, confusion and overwhelmedness of my new role as a mother, the ‘mysteries’ of motherhood and parenthood (as an unreachabley high standard), the need to focus on the one and only task in front (baby), the seed implanted in our relationship, in his life and karma; the need to set up a clear intention of my task as a mother (protection, love, patience), clarity of vision for choices of breast feeding with no bottle, no pacifier, no distractions nor ‘easy routes’, the determinism to keep up with those decisions and keep them clear despite the constant reminders by others of the ‘easy way out’ commodities (like pacifiers or medicine), the patience to carry him as much as possible (99% of the time) next to my body to remind both of us of the oneness in all, the breast feeding on demand as a reminder to my surrendering to his essential inner wisdom, the leaving all external influences out as much as possible to focus and con-centrate on the inner world, honoring his sleep, rest and quietness, listening and tuning into his world and experiences.

Slowly these experiences have given way to a stronger influence of the number 2, after approximately 6 months after birth: me being dreamy and off concentration, feeling of being dragged by the everyday routine (being out of hands), establishing more the role of me as the nurturer, the keeping up with breast feeding on demand while including solids, the need for moving on into a more structured life (2 as a link to 3), being a mother and remaining also a woman, keeping the obedience to the intention and to listen to my intuition and soul inspire of the fuzziness, starting to set up needed limits to our relationship and to Theos behaviour (like no biting the breast, no scratching my face, unavoidability to put on winter clothes on..), to recognize my own personal needs parallel to his (when in 1 I would retract and completely bow to his needs first and only, which sometimes meant no toilet breaks or no food for a while), his becoming more emotional and reactive as part of a natural evolution of his character, and my need for structure and force (need for 3 and routine, structure and my own space and time, the timing of everything and in general experiencing time, the letting go of unconscious fears, the realisation of the organic and biological relation between us and our processes, the drowsiness and dreaminess of a breast feeding life informed by the return to work (teaching yoga) experienced as a polarity, and the journey of separation of us as two entities in two bodies and the growing gap between us (which in this second stage is healthy and in the first stage seemed completely impossible), having the devotion to continue with the dedication and intention set up in our relationship as mother-son and also in the cosmic play of teacher-student (at the same time I am and he is my student and teacher)
I’m blessed to have the consciousness to go through this process accompanied by these teachings and also to share it with others through this writing.

Keep tuned!

In love and devotion,
Sukhdev Kaur

Theo’s new discovery

Sat nam dear family

My son Theo will soon be three months old. Life has become completely different since he arrived, of course a lot more demanding and full of responsibilities, and blessed with new light and an opportunity for us to relive life and discover all it has to offer.

Today Theo has been immersed in the discovery of his hands. he spent all morning just looking – or I should say contemplating deeply – at them. He just held them on the air as long as he could and would look at one and the other. All the time both hands were in really tight fists and motionless. Just concentrated on the one thing of realising that those interesting tools were his own, and that he could move (and squeeze) at will. Thats I guess what a baby in deep meditation looks like.  He even did not want to be held, which is rare. 

As we get used to our hands, our bodies, manners and habits, we humans tend to forget how amazing the tools we have been given are. And such simple yet key realisations, like Theo today, are big steps in understanding our surroundings, ourselves, and life. May our days be filled with such illuminating moments throughout our lives, so we remain fresh, alive, healthy, learning and in love.

Reporting from the mother’s lap,

Sukhdev Kaur

some thoughts on motherhood

Motherhood is actually the chance to practice all I believe in, going beyond the thinking of what others might think, and diving deeply into the seed and the soul of my child. The more I can teach him by my own centeredness, zooming in and out from the 1 to the 10, from the situation into the big picture and viceversa, realising of the situation. Parenting is when children reflect the mirror of what we show them. And motherhood (as pregnancy, childhood, adulthood, and well, LIFE)is the time to keep in mind (and meditate on) the nine treasures:

1 humility

2 loyalty and devotion

3 equality

4 selfless service

5 sacrifice

6 fearlessness

7 forgiveness

8 compassion

9 peace

and also, the 10th hidden treasure behind all, which is courage

karam kriya nädalavahetus

Tee numbritega tutvust.

Numbrid ümbritsevad meid kõikjal – kogu universum põhineb ju numbritel. Mida numbrid kaasa toovad? Kuidas arendada välja keel numbritega suhtlemiseks= Kuidas numbritega muuta oma elu?

“Teekond peast südamesse”

Sissejuhatus Karam Kriyasse / Teadlikkus numbritest
09-10 juuli 2011, kl 10-18 Tallinnas, Budakojas (Luha tn 1)

Tule liitu Hari Krishan Singhiga teekonnal peast südamesse, mille teejuht on numbrite universaalne keel.

Karam Kriya ehk rakenduslik numeroloogia tegeleb numbrite nö „viimase keelega“, mis võimaldab meil ületada näiline reaalsus ning kuulata alati kõikjal olevat Tõde, mis ilmneb igapäevaselt meie suhetes ja ümbruskonnas. Töötame viie keelega: maagia, meditsiin, teadus, kunst ja haridus. Karam Kriya on teadlikult loodud ruum, kus numbrid kõnelevad igavikulist Tõde.

Numbid on viimane abstraktsioon enne kõik-on-üks olemist ja seetõttu ka üks viimaseid samme mõistmaks kosmilise kanga mustrit. Kommunikatsioonis me tunnistame nelja järgnevat avardumist, mis võivad tervendada blokeeringuid, pahelisi mustreid ja mis iganes takistusi, et kogeda selgust oma suhetes. Kaasame loomaliku, inimliku ja ingelliku aspekti ning loome sideme personaalse ja universaalse vahel sinu elus.

Karam kriya numeroloogia jätkukoolitus (november 2011-oktoober 2012) õpetab, kuidas teha tööd numbrite maailmaga.

Hari Krishan Singh (Nederlands)
Hari Krishanist sai 2003 aastal Shiv Charan Singhi õpilane ning õpib tema käe all siiani. Teda on õnnistatud olema Karam Kriya asutaja Hollandis, ta on Karam Kriya õpetaja ja konsultant ning ühtlasi koolitab tulevasi kundalini jooga õpetajaid. “Numbrid on mu elus alati aktiivselt kohal. Mul on suur au õpetada Karam Kriya koolkonnas ja au läbi viia seda koolitust Eestis“.

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