Tag Archives: parenting

Radiant Woman, Radiant Parents – Workshop with Gurujagat

Sat nam armsad,
Kutsun teid suurepärasele õhtule Gurujagat Kauriga (Prantsusmaalt) uues keskuses Dharamsaalis. Selle sündmusega tähistame uue keskuse avamist! Kutsun ja ootan teid väga osalema.

(Info in English please scroll down)

Kiirgav Naine, Kiirgavad Vanemad 
Kundalini jooga meistritund Gurujagat Kaur’iga (France)gurujagat_kaur_yoga_doula

 

Koht: Dharamsaal, Kundalini jooga ja Humanoloogia keskus (Liivalaia 11-14, Tallinn)
Annetus: soovituslikult 12-15 eurot
Aeg: Kolmapäev 18.06, kl 19:30-21:30
Tund on avatud kõigile ja toimub inglise keeles! Kui vajad tõlget, palun kontakteeru.Õhtune praktika jooga, meditatsiooni ja avatud küsimuste-vastuste ringiga teemadel teadlik viljastamine ja rasedus, püha sünnitusjärgne periood ning teadlik lapsevanemlus. Teretulnud on nii mehed kui ka naised kõikide teemadesse puudutavate küsimustega, hoolimata sellest, kas oled lapsevanem või mitte.Gurujagat Kaur (Prantsusmaa) tutvus Kundalini joogaga 1975. aastal, elades Amsterdamis Euroopa ema-ashramis 11 aastat. Seal olles pühendus ta süvitsi Yogi Bhajani õpetuste uurimisele ja praktiseerimisele. Ta on ema neljale lapsele ja seeläbi puutunud kokku iidsete, kuid samal ajal modernsete, ayurveedalike emaks olemise õpetustega. Gurujagat on üle 25 aasta toetanud naisi, paare ja perekondi lapsevanemaks kasvamise teel. Lisaks on ta õppinud suhtlemispsühholoogiat, NLP-d, Vägivallatut suhtlemist ja pere-ning abielunõustamist, et rikastada oma oskusi holistilise terapeudi ja koolitajana. Täna soovib ta jagada oma väärtuslikke kogemusi Sinuga!
Avatud õhtu toimub Yoga Doula ja Teadliku Rasedate jooga koolituse raames. Sellest rohkem infot siitLisainfo:
Sukhdev Kaur
+372 53731839  sukhdevkaur@khalsa.com
DHARAMSAAL- Kundalini jooga ja Humanoloogia keskus Tallinnas

Radiant Woman, Radiant Parents
Kundalini yoga master class with Gurujagat Kaur (France) gurujagat_kaur_yoga_doula

Place: Dharamsaal, Center of Kundalini Yoga and Humanology (Liivalaia 11-14, Tallinn)
Donation: 12-15 eur suggested
Time: Wednesday 18.06, 19:30 – 21:30 hrs
Open to all public!
Class will be taught in English language. If you require translation into Estonian please contact us.

An evening with practice of yoga and meditation and open Questions and Answers around the themes of Conscious Conception, Conscious Pregnancy, Sacred Postnatal time and Conscious Parenting. All questions are welcome and all men and women interested in the topic, regardless of being parents or not.

Gurujagat Kaur (France) came first across Kundalini Yoga in 1975 in Amsterdam. She shared the yogic lifestyle in the European Mother-Ashram for 11 years, studying and practicing the vast teachings of Yogi Bhajan. Giving birth to four children enabled her to put into practice the ancient yet modern ayurvedic maternity tradition. For over 25 years she has accompanied women, couples and families on this beautiful path to becoming parents. Courses in Human Relations, NLP, Non-Violent Communication and Family and Marital Counseling enhance her yogic background as a holistic trainer. Today, she wishes to share this treasure of knowledge and experiences with you.

The open evening is organized in the framework of the Yoga Doula and Conscious Pregnancy yoga training. More information on the training HEREMore information:
Sukhdev Kaur
+372 53731839  sukhdevkaur@khalsa.com

DHARAMSAAL- Center of Kundalini Yoga and Humanology in Tallinn, Estonia
http://www.dharamsaal.ee“That is the first sign, the first qualification of a Kundalini Yoga Teacher–that he goes through calamity with a radiant smile, he deals with another person with a most humble understanding and he lives in the core relationship of Imperial Majesty.” ~ Yogi Bhajan

 

Beebi ja emme jooga tunnid 2013 sügisel

 “By construction, the fulfillment of a woman is motherhood; and motherhood does not mean that she gets pregnant and delivers a baby. If you understand her total behavior, you will understand her motherhood. Her motherhood is service, her motherhood is sacrifice, her motherhood is relationship. When she knows motherhood, she is fulfilled.” – Yogi Bhajan

Värskele emadele on võimalik tulla koos oma lapsega joogatamas. Sellel sügisel alustame 14. november, kokku 5 tundi, neljapäeviti kl 10-11.
See on väga ülendav kogemus lapsele ning emadele suurepärane võimalus oma kodune rutiinist välja tulla ja olla teiste emade seas, kellel on samad küsimused ja mured kui sinulgi ning tuleme üheskoos et omavahel toetada ning tõsta oma vibratsioonid et meil oleks beebidele ja perele jaksu.

Rohkem infot Beebi ja emme jooga tundide kohta SIIT
 

Those first three years…

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Being a mother is one of the greatest gifts I have ever come to experience. Life has a “before”, and an “after”, never ever will life be the same than after giving birth.

Building a strong foundation for my child is the most important thing in my life the first three years of his life (and beyond of course). Learning to listen to his cues, and being there for him to feel safe 24/7 is just one of the greatest sacrifices and blessings as a mother (my husband would also agree). It does mean that many opportunities in the professional life, in the ‘fun’ life, in the holiday life have to either be dropped or wait. I am very proud to say that I’m there for my child any time he needs me. This strong relationship and building of foundation starts with a strong and loving breastfeeding relationship. I can see already the wonderful results of breastfeeding my 2.2 yr old. Also, I know that the sacrifice I made of staying at home with him (and still for one more year at least) has helped me set the priorities in my life, and reassures me that I have indeed given 200% of me to him. I won’t regret any decision I made now, because I have had the opportunity to enjoy him to the max.
There are some mothers whose intuition points the same way. Yet leaving a job is not easy. Money wise and etc. so many fears, habits, comforts to confront. Yet I would say- trust your intuition and drop those fears. Money will come, and if you need to drop some other things, like belongings and such, it’s a big big energetic cleansing. After all, if you see the big picture, what are all those houses going to serve you after you leave this world? It’s the values, the goodness, the service you bring to others that will leave a living legacy of you. We spend so much time of our lives working our energies off to get the property so we are prisoners in our own homes full of loans. We miss the opportunity to spend those precious moments with our loved ones for a set of unbalanced priorities. Yes, having a roof and a place of your own is important, but never as important as to miss those moments with your children. Those first three years. It’s gold! It’s the most beautiful, pure diamonds, because those smiles, those jumps, those laughs, and those healing kisses will become their consciousness. That will stay forever with them. The house can be burnt or sold, but those healing kisses will resonate even then. When your time comes, you will depart in complete contentment and peace.

So yes, not all experiences in life will be beautiful. Most will be challenging. But when you build up your strength of heart, and your soul-intuition (intuition is very different than the voice of your ego-mind), you will live in the moment without judgement, in constant forgiveness and compassion, so that every challenge and accident will become the greatest learning and healing. And by the way, breastfeeding is one of the biggest healing opportunities we have as mothers- it is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to heal the destiny of our children, specially if they had a traumatic birth, and also to build that strong connection with their own infinite.

To finish this post, I want to share with you Yogi Bhajan’s Five Forgivenesses:

– forgive God that he separated you from himself and created you as a creature
– forgive your destiny that it is as it is
– forgive the distance and the environment which are always challenging and the cause and effect which are happening
– forgive your capacity, your ability, your duality and your divinity
– forgive yourself that you have to go through it. That is most important.

God-like parenting

This is probably the most important thing I have learnt from the master about parenting. Although he said it directly only a few times, this concept resonates within all of Yogiji’s teachings on parenting.

And it is actually a very simple idea, easy to remember, yet takes a lot of courage and practice to apply. I like to call it god-like parenting.

In your parenting, act like god. Talk to your children like god would talk to them, heave like god, dress like god, act like god, love like god, forgive like god, be compassionate like god, be humble like god, graceful, radiant and patient like god.

But what does that mean exactly? Well, to me god is the existence beyond any limitations. It is the limitless, infinite, liberated part of me (and of each and every one) that escapes all descriptions, all faults and flaws, in one word- all limits. In other woes, god is the experience of the infinite within. That vast source of ecstasy, of boundless love, strength, courage, and all qualities you find in the realm of the higher self. God, in a way, is the exponential potential you, your great potential expanded exponentially.

So to say that as a parent (or as a person really! In all your actions) you must be patient like god, it means that your patience must not be limited. This is easily brought to light many times having a nursing toddler who is tossing and turning trying to fight imminent sleep. Just remain patient when you feel your patience reaches a limit, just reach out for your god-like backpack of infinite patience. And believe me, it works.
And do the same with each and every quality you attach to the word god.
Do not believe me, just try it.
You will surprise yourself of how great, magnificent, kind and graceful you can be.
In humble service of the divine within all,
Sukhdev Kaur

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A few words on patience

My patience is actually over from day one since you were born. All this patience which I have, is actually not my patience but god’s inexhaustible patience, by Guru’s grace given to me to sustain you, and it is only through a god-like consciousness that I am able to sustain it. There is nothing else. Those nights when I feel I have run out of patience, my own limited patience which is already long time lost, I sense I am limited. But If I am able to reconnect and allow the flow of this ever infinite flow of god through me, and pray for that patience, and vibrate higher and higher vibrations, then everything is alright.
All is god’s will
That’s the guru’s gift

The cleaning lady from my kindergarten

Today I am sharing a personal childhood memory. I’m doing this because it is very vivid, since I have experienced the same through Theo and other children at the daycare center.

Lets go back to Mexico in the 1980s.
Kindergarten. A very beautiful blue building, two actually, surrounding a big playground which had two carrousels, animals you could climb, lots of slides, rings, even a pool. Dreamland. Lots of children who were very happy. And I remember the fence. That metal fence where mama would walk out and sit in the car for hours peeking if I was ok. I don’t remember much of inside of the buildings because I was probably very rarely there. I cried all the time. I didn’t want to go there. I wanted mami. I cried so much, teachers couldn’t take care of me while holding the group. So a very kind lady, the cleaning lady, would spend the mornings holding me and riding the carrousel. I remember her kindness, her compassion, and I don’t remember any of the other teachers, nor much other than that putter playground.
The kindergarten itself was very posh and on the edge of new technologies. That was on the early 80s. I do remember the English classroom. It was on the farther building, on the first floor. There were these big headphones hanging from the ceiling, ones over each chair, and children would put those and listen to (a tape?) the English lessons. It was scary to say the least. But it was high end technology.
Back to the playground. The carrousel. The kind cleaning lady. My sadness, I missed my mami. And she was heartbroken herself she left me there. And I was not a small child, I must have been 4 or 5 years old.
I must say though that my mother was the most caring and loving person I could have asked for. She never left us alone. She was practicing mostly attachment parenting without that term even existing back then. She left her professional life, her whole career behind to stay home with us kids. No blame or guilt intended here whatsoever.

Fast forward to 2013, and my feelings come alive when we are trying out a daycare center with Theo. I stayed with him all morning (we were there for two hours actually), and all this time a little boy, about 2.5 years old, was crying for his mommy. My heart went out to him. Of course, the care takers were in a hard situation, having to deal with him and at the same time take care of all children. And having parents around. The poor boy kept crying until we left, and we left early mostly because my nervous system was so tired from hearing that boy cry. We came home and I slept so deep rejuvenating sleep I needed to heal that inside me.
All te time I felt like reaching out for that boy. Of course he didn’t want that, he wanted mommy. (And I didn’t try, who knows who might feel I’m exceeding the boundaries by hugging a boy). He was clinging into one caretaker, but mostly she was urging him to play or ignoring his cries. And all the other children were looking at him now and then. It was pretty intense.
As a mother, maybe I am too sensitive. Because of how I am, probably influenced also by the fact that I lost my first child. I am extremely compassionate and in any situation I feel the impulse to reach out to those in need.
So I was holding myself today. It was, after all, not my issue. But I did reflect on the fact of how that whole situation is affecting the psyche of that child, the other children, the caretakers and all. It felt to me that that boy, same as me 30 years ago, was not ready to take that step. At the same time, my heart goes to the mother, who was probably in a situation that had to put her child there. And to the caretakers, in such a difficult task.
I do believe strongly that I can express all what I feel. I felt that child’s feelings being neglected, everybody pretending he was not in a deep state of grief. And I don’t want my child to learn such rudeness. Also a little more love from the caretakers could have changed the whole situation. Of a lot more love, which was what the boy needed. A group hug, having all the other children acknowledge what was going on instead of ignoring it, having all children sing to him so he could heal. I thought of making those suggestions but felt it was not my place, as I’m an observer. (Probably I should have). I feel we need a lot more kindness, understanding, reaching out to others in this world. Love, treating others as they are worth, as respected human beings, evermore when they are desperately crying it out for help. They communicate, but we ignore it. They learn that speaking out is useless. So they submit, learn to ignore their emotions, dig them down deep and keep them for themselves. And yes, at some point that child will give up his cries, and prove that we won the battle, but aren’t we the ones who must give up our ideas of how a child must behave? Of how much love or kindness he needs? Aren’t we te ones who are not understanding the signals, when he uses all his might to communicate as a complete human being worth of being listened to? Aren’t we the ones who should stop pretending to ignore and deal creatively and lovingly with every challenging situation?
Instead of telling him “don’t cry, mama will come” (and him waiting for mama for one second, and asking again- *small children don’t have the sense if time as adults do), showing him lovingly “yes, mama is not here, it is very sad, but we are all here for you!”. Maybe it doesn’t work and I’m just stupid, but trying it (for 100 times, not less) doesn’t hurt anyone. In fact it may teach the other children to reach out. And make the day lighter and brighter for everyone.

At the end I listened to my intuition (after all, I am teaching about intuition right!) and have had such a wonderful time together with Theo with no need of daycare or playrooms. At this age, what a child most needs is attention from the close circle (mother and father) and yes, occasionally a babysitter or another playmate who has a fully loaded battery. (That is, beside other kids of course)

Blessings and kindness to every soul,
Sukhdev Kaur

Non attachment

It’s 3 am. Theo is 1.5 years old. Technically you could say he is ready to sleep through the night. Practically you could say he needs to be reassured of my presence during the night. I just spent about an hour trying to get him back to sleep. And unlike many other nights, I’m perfectly calm.
Is he waking up because he wants to bother me? Is he a sleepless rebel? Is he complotting against my sleep? Is he being spoiled? Should I be sleep training (or using some kind of no cry method to help him sleep through?
My answer to all this is clear: no.
As an intuitive mother I focus first on his well being. Not only physical (“his body needs full rest”) but also mental and spiritual. He needs to be treated with respect and loving kindness even in those wee hours of the night, when I and my mind are at our weakest point. Very easily this could all turn into a drama: I lose my patience and he will cry. That is all pointless because he will then be wide awake for the next couple of hours. Or I will just need to put more effort into getting him to calm down. But sometimes that’s what needs to happen.
In moments like this, I have learnt to become non attached. Being different from de-tachment, non-attachment implies having no expectations whatsoever. He might wake up, or fall asleep, or I may need to carry him around. There is no other purpose of my actions except being there for him, and contain him. I don’t just expect him to fall asleep because the fact that I want him to fall asleep. I’m open to being sensitive and responsive to him, whatever the outcome is.

“I love you because I love myself”. I am within me, centered, therefore I can be non attached to the action. And I am within me, centered, thus I am patience myself, cannot run out of it. I am within me, centered, therefore I can contain you, and to beyond human boundaries to provide you with heavenly values and qualities.

That is my focus, during these wee hours, that keeps me from losing it. A deeper meaning than just “get to sleep!” despair.

Because I love you and I love myself, and I owe this to both of us.

In gratitude for every challenge as an open door to the unknown,
Sukhdev Kaur

Now to sleep, because This is my chance!

Enhorabuena

Life in this world (specially with a toddler) is all about being present.
We just returned from a Family reuniting trip, and actually the whole theme I was dealing with during this journey was about staying me, staying true to my self, not getting caught up in my own mind games, relaxing my mind and just being. Today this quote from Yogiji fits perfect to close up the gained experience:

When in your life have you ever just sat down for one hour and said, “ I am going to be me, I am going to be me, I am going to be me, I’m going to be me. I’m not this. I am not that. I am me.”
When was the last time that you did your prathyahar, synchronizing yourself to zero in experience?
–© The Teachings of Yogi Bhajan, July 27, 1996

Prathyahar is the art of not feeding the senses with nonsense. It is the art of remaining zero, neutral although you are not removing yourself from the normal world. It is the art which we less practice in this world, yet the one we most need.

Blessings in light,
Sukhdev Kaur

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Parent’s ongoing tests

This post is mostly a reminder to myself, that I share with you all as it may be of help. I’m on holidays with my family visiting my sister and her family, and Theo seems to be uninterested to see more than our rented house. He’s been I’ll for half of the trip and now that he got well, his mood swings remind me of teething times since he only wants to be in my arms and carried, otherwise he cries (he also does it all the time in my arms though). I came to understand again that it is transitions that make him anxious, all transitions (night-day, awake-asleep, inside-outside, eating-playing, mama-papa)

So..

Children will repeatedly test your resistance, patience, love-ability and compassion. All moments when you think “I can’t handle this anymore” they will challenge you for more. The test is to lose all hope, not to become hopeless but to stop hoping and wishing and dreaming and come back to the present. That is where life with children is lived, one day at a time, one moment, whether precious or challenging, you decide the outcome. It’s all about how strong your nervous system is -not to ignore all cries!- but to be strong enough so you keep yourself anchored and centered through all cries. Because that’s the only way to help a child in whatever need they might have. Stay centered and focused. Remain you. Do not go into the mind’s game. Stay and breathe. Be you. Do not collapse, explode, burn or melt. You are his anchor, you must remain anchored. Keep up. Sa ta na ma.

(I’ll probably take some words from this and put them up the wall back at home)

Blessings from Canada
Sukhdev Kaur