Tag Archives: numbers

Ripening

When the self becomes mature enough to the point of ripening, the flower blooms and produces a fruit. This is the beautiful process of life. I have felt it come and go in certain stages of life, every time happening with a more powerful strength and carrying me across the world ocean. Before this ripening happens, I have no idea this is about to come. Usually this ripening is preceded by a dark age – sometimes short, sometimes long and exhausting – where the foundation of the self has to be prepared and the ground needs to be worked upon so that the spring can rise, the flower can bloom. There is no other purpose in life than to reach this maturity, over and over again. This is a state which, like air, can flicker away in an instant, yet its strong presence must be extended by consciousness. This is the jewel of life, this is what all of us seek in our unconscious, subconscious, semiconscious lives. Love is the ultimate state of being in which the self lives out of doubt and in clarity. Perpetual clarity is a state of being, a crystallization which gives us purpose. Frustration can and must trigger this process, the same way as boredom, anger and grief. These are precious gifts given to us so that we can refocus ourselves in our journey. To some they might be obstacles or resistances, but in the true sense of reality they are blessings and stepping stones. They are the wind and the current which will empower our boat to greater distances and wonderful lands that we cannot even dare to imagine. The self has a sense of this yet the mind is too limited to consider this. The mind gets stuck in the problem-solving aspects and forgets the vastness of the self. Only by learning how to use each of these resistances in order to come out of doubt and stabilize the self within those turmoils and dark times we can transcend those limitations and for once and for real live in reality in the true sense of the word. In the vast reality and quiet shores that we have come here into life to achieve. All adversities are to our advantages. We just need to tame the dragon, calm down the flow of emotions and commotions of an unsettled, frustrated heart. Become aware of the freedom in stillness, where freedom means opening that space inside the dungeon of the ribcage.

This is my prayer, that we all learn to live in this bliss. I have been waiting for three years for this moment again. A new stage arises and a new maturity has reached my lands. I welcome this stage with gratitude and an open heart.

“If you set your heart on something, your head will give in. That is why it is the most powerful center and extremely dangerous. On the other hand, this is the only center worth living with. […]

If you ever want to be compassionate, first be compassionate to yourself. You shall not understand another person’s feelings and behaviors accurately, intuitively, if you are not compassionate to yourself.” – Yogi Bhajan. July 17, 1988

A story of gratitude

God gives all these precious gifts to each and every one of us. In reality, we all prosper. Just looking at a child, growing in any surrounding, nature provides everything to that child. He or she receives a mother who nurtures him, brings food and warmth, love and security to every moment of his life. He receives a father, a protecting figure who makes sure there is a roof, a safe environment for the mother and baby. Sometimes nature gives different gifts than those, takes the mother or father away and provides a bigger challenge. Nevertheless, the child grows and prospers. Nature is wise.

In reality, our job is not to interfere with our ego-mind. What we must instruct it to do, is to become grateful for all those gifts that have been given. Grateful in every way, in every situation. That of course, doesn’t mean you become passive. It means that you can actually act from a neutral place, where you can enjoy a high perspective.

Imagine looking at a city from above.

You will see the people walking on the streets, the traffic, the rhythms. If you look closer you will see the windows of every house, holding a different story behind each of them, a family sleeping, a dog alone barking, a couple having dinner, a child playing with a cat. Among them, you will see your story, the emotional reaction you are having to this hard day, the way you are so focused in your financial situation, your worries about tomorrow, your jealousy for the couple upstairs or for the innocence of the child playing with the cat.

Zoom out again.

Realize that the couple have also their own worries. Every story behind every window has their own bubble of emotions, commotions, passions, worries, limitations.

Now what does this big picture give you? You can just accept that you are just one more of the crowd, useless, worthless, struggling like the rest.

Or you can discover the treasures you hold and be grateful for them. The smallest things like the look on your dear children when they wake up, or the food you have on the table, or the broken car which nevertheless brings you to places. Or even the old and humble furniture you hate, or the job that you don’t like but helps you to pay the bills.

We have been trained to think that the grass is always greener on the other side. It is part of a sequence in our mind, an illusion which actually helps us to develop the power of will, the power to move and to act. Yet the illusion will not bring us to happiness. It is the inner harmony with tr present moment that can only bring back to a sense of prosperity. This is all begins with recognizing, accepting and agreeing where I am standing. This is my story.
We need to stop living in our minds and rehearsing the story of the neighbor- if I had money… If I had that wife… If I was this or that. The first step to finding peace is through gratitude. However dark and gloomy my own story may seem, it is mine, and that is already a precious finding. Thank god, thank the universe, thank yourself, thank whoever and whatever that has helped you shape your story. Because it is unique and valuable as it is.

We all create our stories. There are certain patterns we follow, personal, inherited, societal, national and universal patterns which help us shape that story. Yes, you can and must become aware if those patterns and change the ones you don’t need or which are negative. Yet even each if those has been there for a purpose, whether you realise it or not, but you can be grateful for each of them.

I am grateful specially for the difficult and challenging situations in my life. Because through them, I have had to find the courage to go through, to find the light in the darkness, to wake myself up so that I can shine, to become neutral in the middle of emotion and commotion. And that I can guide others in spite of whatever turbulence is going in in my story. And at the end, that turbulence will find peace if I find the gratitude in the middle of it.

In humble service and love to the one in all,
Sukhdev Kaur

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Conscious Parenting workshops in Estonia and France

Dear Family,

I am happy to announce that my long-planned project and wishes of teaching Conscious Parenting have started to crystallize. Together with my dear colleague, mother and kundalini yoga teacher trainer, Bachitar Kaur from Germany (living in the Netherlands), we have set up a series of workshops to start the project running. All information is found from our joint website on Conscious Parenting: http://www.consciousparenting.eu/

The first one of these workshops is this weekend here in Estonia, at the Haapsalu Yoga Festival. The workshop will be held in English and translated into Estonian. We will see what parenting is from the yogic perspective and I will guide through a meditation to connect with this life flow as parents. Full description of this workshop and the Haapsalu Yoga Festival you can find here:
http://www.joogafestival.ee/en/program/tootoad/tootuba-kuidas-olla-teadlik-lapsevanem/

The second, longer workshop will take place at the European Yoga Festival in Fondjouan, France. This we will teach together Bachitar Kaur and me, and we welcome all friends from all over Europe (and beyond!) to join us. It will be an experience of parents together uplifting our experience as teachers for our children. For more information go here:
http://www.3ho-kundalini-yoga.eu/en/eventsactivities/european-yoga-festival/festival-program/workshop-schedule2012/bachitar-kaur-sukhdev-kaur-netherlands-estonia/

Im looking forward to seeing you all and sharing experiences and the teachings with all of you!
In gratitude to the divine,
Sukhdev Kaur

Gratitude for life and death

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Very often I go into a sleepy state of consciousness, where I only realize what is going on in the moment and become overwhelmed by the situation. Last week, it was the sleep issue. Thanks to my dear friend and sister Guru Jagat Kaur that I realized Theo was not sleeping because he was hungry… So all those children who are put to sleep by crying might just after all be hungry, and then denied even more food by not giving them the breast… Karmic and cruel… So listening is the best thing we can do, and love our little ones.
Soon they will be grown ups and won’t need our caresses, love and arms to sleep. So let’s take the chance!

I discussed it already a few months ago, how as humans we are playing among the 1 and the 10, among the individual and the vastness. It is a habit to stay In the individual and get so frustrated and drown in our little bubbles that we forget being part of the big 10. It is our birthright and our blessing as humans to live and experience that vastness as part of our nature. Sometimes, hints like an accident put us in perspective. These accidents are blessings to remind us to come out of our bubbles and be with our souls.

The best gift I have ever had is gratitude. It is what takes me beyond the bubble and to realize all the gifts I have. Even if I haven’t slept, or even if Theo is ill… Instead of “why me?” an attitude of gratitude transforms it all into “thank god it happened to me”. My greatest gift in that realization was my daughter Vida. She came to give me that attitude, and left quickly back the way she came. This week we are celebrating her passing through this earth and through our lives two years ago — time actually goes fast.

So better enjoy the moment, serve all those who we need to serve with gratitude, and go back home in peace. No regrets, no whys, no criticism, no questioning. Pure gratitude. For the good and the bad. For life and death. For the ups and the downs. For the breath of life.

In humble service of the Naam,
Sukhdev Kaur

8 months… into the ocean

A thought has been haunting me lately about the next step in our family life. Theo is already 8 months and although it sounds funny or strange, as a mother I feel him as still that tiny baby. My mother says that even 30 years from now, to her eyes we are still the same. Many others might agree.

Yet our relationship has been evolving and changing, routine slightly evolved and grown. He acts and does more things and is now more ‘human’ like… I had Always the feeling that as a baby he was more living the life of an angel (some call them fetuses..) not really human, not really here in this world.
What is stronger is now the change of energy and in a lack if better word, what astrologers might refer to as ‘ruling house’.

When Theo was a small baby, I experienced strongly the effects of the number 1: humility, need for developing patience and endurance (those long endless nights and days which were no different from each other, wakings and crying without any possibility to do anything), the surrendering when realizing that now he is outside (it may sound logical but as experience it was (still is) quite challenging and slow to realise), the timelessness of those sleepless moments and never ending arm carrying, the infinite and ageless wisdom from his eyes, the strong foundation to be formed by the first 40 days and 3.5 months, the love and headless heart needed for the journey, confusion and overwhelmedness of my new role as a mother, the ‘mysteries’ of motherhood and parenthood (as an unreachabley high standard), the need to focus on the one and only task in front (baby), the seed implanted in our relationship, in his life and karma; the need to set up a clear intention of my task as a mother (protection, love, patience), clarity of vision for choices of breast feeding with no bottle, no pacifier, no distractions nor ‘easy routes’, the determinism to keep up with those decisions and keep them clear despite the constant reminders by others of the ‘easy way out’ commodities (like pacifiers or medicine), the patience to carry him as much as possible (99% of the time) next to my body to remind both of us of the oneness in all, the breast feeding on demand as a reminder to my surrendering to his essential inner wisdom, the leaving all external influences out as much as possible to focus and con-centrate on the inner world, honoring his sleep, rest and quietness, listening and tuning into his world and experiences.

Slowly these experiences have given way to a stronger influence of the number 2, after approximately 6 months after birth: me being dreamy and off concentration, feeling of being dragged by the everyday routine (being out of hands), establishing more the role of me as the nurturer, the keeping up with breast feeding on demand while including solids, the need for moving on into a more structured life (2 as a link to 3), being a mother and remaining also a woman, keeping the obedience to the intention and to listen to my intuition and soul inspire of the fuzziness, starting to set up needed limits to our relationship and to Theos behaviour (like no biting the breast, no scratching my face, unavoidability to put on winter clothes on..), to recognize my own personal needs parallel to his (when in 1 I would retract and completely bow to his needs first and only, which sometimes meant no toilet breaks or no food for a while), his becoming more emotional and reactive as part of a natural evolution of his character, and my need for structure and force (need for 3 and routine, structure and my own space and time, the timing of everything and in general experiencing time, the letting go of unconscious fears, the realisation of the organic and biological relation between us and our processes, the drowsiness and dreaminess of a breast feeding life informed by the return to work (teaching yoga) experienced as a polarity, and the journey of separation of us as two entities in two bodies and the growing gap between us (which in this second stage is healthy and in the first stage seemed completely impossible), having the devotion to continue with the dedication and intention set up in our relationship as mother-son and also in the cosmic play of teacher-student (at the same time I am and he is my student and teacher)
I’m blessed to have the consciousness to go through this process accompanied by these teachings and also to share it with others through this writing.

Keep tuned!

In love and devotion,
Sukhdev Kaur