Tag Archives: motherhood

Radiant Woman, Radiant Parents – Workshop with Gurujagat

Sat nam armsad,
Kutsun teid suurepärasele õhtule Gurujagat Kauriga (Prantsusmaalt) uues keskuses Dharamsaalis. Selle sündmusega tähistame uue keskuse avamist! Kutsun ja ootan teid väga osalema.

(Info in English please scroll down)

Kiirgav Naine, Kiirgavad Vanemad 
Kundalini jooga meistritund Gurujagat Kaur’iga (France)gurujagat_kaur_yoga_doula

 

Koht: Dharamsaal, Kundalini jooga ja Humanoloogia keskus (Liivalaia 11-14, Tallinn)
Annetus: soovituslikult 12-15 eurot
Aeg: Kolmapäev 18.06, kl 19:30-21:30
Tund on avatud kõigile ja toimub inglise keeles! Kui vajad tõlget, palun kontakteeru.Õhtune praktika jooga, meditatsiooni ja avatud küsimuste-vastuste ringiga teemadel teadlik viljastamine ja rasedus, püha sünnitusjärgne periood ning teadlik lapsevanemlus. Teretulnud on nii mehed kui ka naised kõikide teemadesse puudutavate küsimustega, hoolimata sellest, kas oled lapsevanem või mitte.Gurujagat Kaur (Prantsusmaa) tutvus Kundalini joogaga 1975. aastal, elades Amsterdamis Euroopa ema-ashramis 11 aastat. Seal olles pühendus ta süvitsi Yogi Bhajani õpetuste uurimisele ja praktiseerimisele. Ta on ema neljale lapsele ja seeläbi puutunud kokku iidsete, kuid samal ajal modernsete, ayurveedalike emaks olemise õpetustega. Gurujagat on üle 25 aasta toetanud naisi, paare ja perekondi lapsevanemaks kasvamise teel. Lisaks on ta õppinud suhtlemispsühholoogiat, NLP-d, Vägivallatut suhtlemist ja pere-ning abielunõustamist, et rikastada oma oskusi holistilise terapeudi ja koolitajana. Täna soovib ta jagada oma väärtuslikke kogemusi Sinuga!
Avatud õhtu toimub Yoga Doula ja Teadliku Rasedate jooga koolituse raames. Sellest rohkem infot siitLisainfo:
Sukhdev Kaur
+372 53731839  sukhdevkaur@khalsa.com
DHARAMSAAL- Kundalini jooga ja Humanoloogia keskus Tallinnas

Radiant Woman, Radiant Parents
Kundalini yoga master class with Gurujagat Kaur (France) gurujagat_kaur_yoga_doula

Place: Dharamsaal, Center of Kundalini Yoga and Humanology (Liivalaia 11-14, Tallinn)
Donation: 12-15 eur suggested
Time: Wednesday 18.06, 19:30 – 21:30 hrs
Open to all public!
Class will be taught in English language. If you require translation into Estonian please contact us.

An evening with practice of yoga and meditation and open Questions and Answers around the themes of Conscious Conception, Conscious Pregnancy, Sacred Postnatal time and Conscious Parenting. All questions are welcome and all men and women interested in the topic, regardless of being parents or not.

Gurujagat Kaur (France) came first across Kundalini Yoga in 1975 in Amsterdam. She shared the yogic lifestyle in the European Mother-Ashram for 11 years, studying and practicing the vast teachings of Yogi Bhajan. Giving birth to four children enabled her to put into practice the ancient yet modern ayurvedic maternity tradition. For over 25 years she has accompanied women, couples and families on this beautiful path to becoming parents. Courses in Human Relations, NLP, Non-Violent Communication and Family and Marital Counseling enhance her yogic background as a holistic trainer. Today, she wishes to share this treasure of knowledge and experiences with you.

The open evening is organized in the framework of the Yoga Doula and Conscious Pregnancy yoga training. More information on the training HEREMore information:
Sukhdev Kaur
+372 53731839  sukhdevkaur@khalsa.com

DHARAMSAAL- Center of Kundalini Yoga and Humanology in Tallinn, Estonia
http://www.dharamsaal.ee“That is the first sign, the first qualification of a Kundalini Yoga Teacher–that he goes through calamity with a radiant smile, he deals with another person with a most humble understanding and he lives in the core relationship of Imperial Majesty.” ~ Yogi Bhajan

 

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Beebi ja emme jooga tunnid 2013 sügisel

 “By construction, the fulfillment of a woman is motherhood; and motherhood does not mean that she gets pregnant and delivers a baby. If you understand her total behavior, you will understand her motherhood. Her motherhood is service, her motherhood is sacrifice, her motherhood is relationship. When she knows motherhood, she is fulfilled.” – Yogi Bhajan

Värskele emadele on võimalik tulla koos oma lapsega joogatamas. Sellel sügisel alustame 14. november, kokku 5 tundi, neljapäeviti kl 10-11.
See on väga ülendav kogemus lapsele ning emadele suurepärane võimalus oma kodune rutiinist välja tulla ja olla teiste emade seas, kellel on samad küsimused ja mured kui sinulgi ning tuleme üheskoos et omavahel toetada ning tõsta oma vibratsioonid et meil oleks beebidele ja perele jaksu.

Rohkem infot Beebi ja emme jooga tundide kohta SIIT
 

The oriental woman

This is the title of a set of Yogi Bhajan’s lectures back in the 1970’s or 80’s. I don’t remember exactly and as I am writing from bed with Theo in my arms I don’t bother searching.

The oriental woman in contrast with the western woman. That’s what he meant. As he came to teach in the west, America and Europe, in this respect is practically the same. Values of women have been completely lost. Maybe it was in the process of industrialization, feminization, globalization, capitalism and all those evil zations and isms out there.

woman in Turkey, photo by Teet Tooming
woman in Turkey, photo by Teet Tooming

Yogi Bhajan ( I prefer to call him el Maestro), el Maestro taught us to be like the oriental woman. He told us we should be like the oriental woman. But what he meant it remains unclear, and as I travel the world I always ask again and again what he meant by that. I get all sorts of answers, yet I know in my intuition exactly what he meant, but it’s too hard for many to take.

El Maestro was an advocate of women. He hated to see how we had downgraded and sold ourselves as sexual objects called ‘chicks’ instead of the powerful and graceful eagles we could become. He would teach women day after day how we should value ourselves by being a woman instead of trying to be something else, instead if going out there and search for everything. Things will search for you when you are a woman.

The oriental woman has one characteristic which I haven’t found in either American or European cultures, getting also lost in Mexico and all over the world. It is the virtue of devotion. It is a virtue which makes life soft, beautiful, divine, loving. A virtue you cannot understand or perceive fully if you don’t have a beloved to which devote yourself. This devotion I am speaking about is a divine devotion, which bridges that incredible dark gap we have in longing to belong. This hole- sometimes it is very real and physical in the chest- is something we all experience as a desire to belong. Some more than others, but it is part of coming into this life, being born and separated from that oneness, and becoming human. Nobody escapes that longing. You can call it a human condition. We all want to feel again whole, being part of that clan, that heaven which we once knew. Suffering comes when we either negate that longing or we cannot find our beloved or belonging to which belong. There is a metaphore of the wife/bride looking for his husband/groom and when she cannot find him she cries in despair, lost in the dark night, hopeless and broken. That is the state in which our soul looks for being completed, being happy, being whole. The soul inside of each of us yearns to be part of that Infinite it once knew, and here in this game called “earth” we come to find the way to do that. To win by playing within the rules. To defeat the game by playing by the rules.

the prayer of the beloved, is one of the highest prayers and ways of liberation
the prayer of the beloved, is one of the highest prayers and ways of liberation

So in this game, devotion comes in handy. It has the power to connect us with that beloved, that infinite, to set our anchor in the right place, to place an altar to that infinity, to realise that our wisdom has a purpose, and so we can feel Whole and One once more. In life, constantly. Not be lost like that soul bride in an empty bed. To feel the joy of being part of the One, that one which is actually inside of you, but in order to connect we need to find a path, an inspiration which will remind us of that light within. Technically, most religions started that way, to reflect that wisdom and connect you with an image of that inner reality. Many got lost in the way, but devotion is something that at least in some way has remained- in the oriental woman. The oriental woman as I see her, and as I am inspired by (and this is an image, may not be related to geographical surroundings or any “orient” in particular, but who said that El Maestro meant any geographical location?) is humble, is serviceful to her husband (her real husband but mostly her divine husband), is always accompanying her husband and walking softly behind him. She is a subtle inspiration, a light breeze which blows softly in the twilight, pointing to the right direction of the way. She is that woman who gracefully and patiently waits for her husband to awaken, making him lovingly food every day. She is that woman who is constantly in prayer, living in compassion and acting with kindness with everyone and in every situation. She is not in contradiction with a strong woman, in fact, she is stronger and steadier than any screaming and pounding woman. For her strength lies in her wit, in her inner wisdom, in her forgiveness, in her vibration, in her prayer. She devotes time for herself in deep meditation, sometimes while still serving others. That is the fulfillment of her self as a woman. And that is the highest blessing we women can awaken. It does not mean that we are not strong, powerful entrepreneurs or global women, it is not in contradiction. The same way she is a warrior when giving birth, she is a warrior without having to be in the frontline of battle. We don’t have to choose between one or the other. What we do have to choose is to do it consciously, by choice and not by imposition.

As a woman, just know that your power is a subtle one, and your light will shine through your service for others. The more lights you can awaken, the more your prayer works. Without that you have to move an inch.

 

Those first three years…

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Being a mother is one of the greatest gifts I have ever come to experience. Life has a “before”, and an “after”, never ever will life be the same than after giving birth.

Building a strong foundation for my child is the most important thing in my life the first three years of his life (and beyond of course). Learning to listen to his cues, and being there for him to feel safe 24/7 is just one of the greatest sacrifices and blessings as a mother (my husband would also agree). It does mean that many opportunities in the professional life, in the ‘fun’ life, in the holiday life have to either be dropped or wait. I am very proud to say that I’m there for my child any time he needs me. This strong relationship and building of foundation starts with a strong and loving breastfeeding relationship. I can see already the wonderful results of breastfeeding my 2.2 yr old. Also, I know that the sacrifice I made of staying at home with him (and still for one more year at least) has helped me set the priorities in my life, and reassures me that I have indeed given 200% of me to him. I won’t regret any decision I made now, because I have had the opportunity to enjoy him to the max.
There are some mothers whose intuition points the same way. Yet leaving a job is not easy. Money wise and etc. so many fears, habits, comforts to confront. Yet I would say- trust your intuition and drop those fears. Money will come, and if you need to drop some other things, like belongings and such, it’s a big big energetic cleansing. After all, if you see the big picture, what are all those houses going to serve you after you leave this world? It’s the values, the goodness, the service you bring to others that will leave a living legacy of you. We spend so much time of our lives working our energies off to get the property so we are prisoners in our own homes full of loans. We miss the opportunity to spend those precious moments with our loved ones for a set of unbalanced priorities. Yes, having a roof and a place of your own is important, but never as important as to miss those moments with your children. Those first three years. It’s gold! It’s the most beautiful, pure diamonds, because those smiles, those jumps, those laughs, and those healing kisses will become their consciousness. That will stay forever with them. The house can be burnt or sold, but those healing kisses will resonate even then. When your time comes, you will depart in complete contentment and peace.

So yes, not all experiences in life will be beautiful. Most will be challenging. But when you build up your strength of heart, and your soul-intuition (intuition is very different than the voice of your ego-mind), you will live in the moment without judgement, in constant forgiveness and compassion, so that every challenge and accident will become the greatest learning and healing. And by the way, breastfeeding is one of the biggest healing opportunities we have as mothers- it is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to heal the destiny of our children, specially if they had a traumatic birth, and also to build that strong connection with their own infinite.

To finish this post, I want to share with you Yogi Bhajan’s Five Forgivenesses:

– forgive God that he separated you from himself and created you as a creature
– forgive your destiny that it is as it is
– forgive the distance and the environment which are always challenging and the cause and effect which are happening
– forgive your capacity, your ability, your duality and your divinity
– forgive yourself that you have to go through it. That is most important.

God-like parenting

This is probably the most important thing I have learnt from the master about parenting. Although he said it directly only a few times, this concept resonates within all of Yogiji’s teachings on parenting.

And it is actually a very simple idea, easy to remember, yet takes a lot of courage and practice to apply. I like to call it god-like parenting.

In your parenting, act like god. Talk to your children like god would talk to them, heave like god, dress like god, act like god, love like god, forgive like god, be compassionate like god, be humble like god, graceful, radiant and patient like god.

But what does that mean exactly? Well, to me god is the existence beyond any limitations. It is the limitless, infinite, liberated part of me (and of each and every one) that escapes all descriptions, all faults and flaws, in one word- all limits. In other woes, god is the experience of the infinite within. That vast source of ecstasy, of boundless love, strength, courage, and all qualities you find in the realm of the higher self. God, in a way, is the exponential potential you, your great potential expanded exponentially.

So to say that as a parent (or as a person really! In all your actions) you must be patient like god, it means that your patience must not be limited. This is easily brought to light many times having a nursing toddler who is tossing and turning trying to fight imminent sleep. Just remain patient when you feel your patience reaches a limit, just reach out for your god-like backpack of infinite patience. And believe me, it works.
And do the same with each and every quality you attach to the word god.
Do not believe me, just try it.
You will surprise yourself of how great, magnificent, kind and graceful you can be.
In humble service of the divine within all,
Sukhdev Kaur

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The technology that works, into Sahej Sukh

This year I am reaching a beautiful haven. In my physical body, in my personal life, in my spiritual practice and mostly in my life and commitment as a teacher, a sense of maturity blossoms within me. It is a long awaited moment of consciousness, having gone through the hardships of 11 years of practice, of self awareness, of commitment to my path to develop myself through the technology of kundalini yoga. I am just in such a tremendous gratitude to the One, for giving me my teacher, the Siri Singh Sahib Yogi Bhajan, and Shiv Charan Singh for bringing light into my path. Out of ashes, out of a nobody in the crowd, has come a refinement and appreciation. Out of gratitude and prayer, of humility of knowing who the doer is, of infinite service, a stone has been chiseled. Out of me has come somebody who can help others reach their light. I am just at awe at the technology that works. At every sutra, every seed my teacher has planted within me, growing deeper and reaching farther. It has nothing to do with me actually. In just the player who took her role seriously and kept the reference and reverence to the One. I am just the living prayer through which God can create, organise and deliver his blessings. Just a tiny grain of sand which has been polished so it can reflect the rays of the sun.
My heart bursts with gratitude, for I see that the technology works. I have seen it with myself. I have seen it with my students, who are now eagles flying fearless and graceful. I have seen it in my home, in my child, in my sangat, in my enemies, in my world.
And all it requires is a commitment, a continued commitment to the soul and the path.
I give my head to my Guru and remain forever yours. There is no greater bliss than to be your servant. And with this, more blessings you send. There is no end to your gifts, king of kings. Present within all, permeating through every one and everything.
I cannot express in words this state of pure, divine bliss that comes as your gift. All through keeping up, commuting and remaining your servant.
In me, a renaissance in joy and bliss comes forth, the fourth stage opens with a grandiose symphony in peace and intuitive ease.

Deg Teg Fateh!

In constant and infinite gratitude,

Sukhdev Kaur

The cleaning lady from my kindergarten

Today I am sharing a personal childhood memory. I’m doing this because it is very vivid, since I have experienced the same through Theo and other children at the daycare center.

Lets go back to Mexico in the 1980s.
Kindergarten. A very beautiful blue building, two actually, surrounding a big playground which had two carrousels, animals you could climb, lots of slides, rings, even a pool. Dreamland. Lots of children who were very happy. And I remember the fence. That metal fence where mama would walk out and sit in the car for hours peeking if I was ok. I don’t remember much of inside of the buildings because I was probably very rarely there. I cried all the time. I didn’t want to go there. I wanted mami. I cried so much, teachers couldn’t take care of me while holding the group. So a very kind lady, the cleaning lady, would spend the mornings holding me and riding the carrousel. I remember her kindness, her compassion, and I don’t remember any of the other teachers, nor much other than that putter playground.
The kindergarten itself was very posh and on the edge of new technologies. That was on the early 80s. I do remember the English classroom. It was on the farther building, on the first floor. There were these big headphones hanging from the ceiling, ones over each chair, and children would put those and listen to (a tape?) the English lessons. It was scary to say the least. But it was high end technology.
Back to the playground. The carrousel. The kind cleaning lady. My sadness, I missed my mami. And she was heartbroken herself she left me there. And I was not a small child, I must have been 4 or 5 years old.
I must say though that my mother was the most caring and loving person I could have asked for. She never left us alone. She was practicing mostly attachment parenting without that term even existing back then. She left her professional life, her whole career behind to stay home with us kids. No blame or guilt intended here whatsoever.

Fast forward to 2013, and my feelings come alive when we are trying out a daycare center with Theo. I stayed with him all morning (we were there for two hours actually), and all this time a little boy, about 2.5 years old, was crying for his mommy. My heart went out to him. Of course, the care takers were in a hard situation, having to deal with him and at the same time take care of all children. And having parents around. The poor boy kept crying until we left, and we left early mostly because my nervous system was so tired from hearing that boy cry. We came home and I slept so deep rejuvenating sleep I needed to heal that inside me.
All te time I felt like reaching out for that boy. Of course he didn’t want that, he wanted mommy. (And I didn’t try, who knows who might feel I’m exceeding the boundaries by hugging a boy). He was clinging into one caretaker, but mostly she was urging him to play or ignoring his cries. And all the other children were looking at him now and then. It was pretty intense.
As a mother, maybe I am too sensitive. Because of how I am, probably influenced also by the fact that I lost my first child. I am extremely compassionate and in any situation I feel the impulse to reach out to those in need.
So I was holding myself today. It was, after all, not my issue. But I did reflect on the fact of how that whole situation is affecting the psyche of that child, the other children, the caretakers and all. It felt to me that that boy, same as me 30 years ago, was not ready to take that step. At the same time, my heart goes to the mother, who was probably in a situation that had to put her child there. And to the caretakers, in such a difficult task.
I do believe strongly that I can express all what I feel. I felt that child’s feelings being neglected, everybody pretending he was not in a deep state of grief. And I don’t want my child to learn such rudeness. Also a little more love from the caretakers could have changed the whole situation. Of a lot more love, which was what the boy needed. A group hug, having all the other children acknowledge what was going on instead of ignoring it, having all children sing to him so he could heal. I thought of making those suggestions but felt it was not my place, as I’m an observer. (Probably I should have). I feel we need a lot more kindness, understanding, reaching out to others in this world. Love, treating others as they are worth, as respected human beings, evermore when they are desperately crying it out for help. They communicate, but we ignore it. They learn that speaking out is useless. So they submit, learn to ignore their emotions, dig them down deep and keep them for themselves. And yes, at some point that child will give up his cries, and prove that we won the battle, but aren’t we the ones who must give up our ideas of how a child must behave? Of how much love or kindness he needs? Aren’t we te ones who are not understanding the signals, when he uses all his might to communicate as a complete human being worth of being listened to? Aren’t we the ones who should stop pretending to ignore and deal creatively and lovingly with every challenging situation?
Instead of telling him “don’t cry, mama will come” (and him waiting for mama for one second, and asking again- *small children don’t have the sense if time as adults do), showing him lovingly “yes, mama is not here, it is very sad, but we are all here for you!”. Maybe it doesn’t work and I’m just stupid, but trying it (for 100 times, not less) doesn’t hurt anyone. In fact it may teach the other children to reach out. And make the day lighter and brighter for everyone.

At the end I listened to my intuition (after all, I am teaching about intuition right!) and have had such a wonderful time together with Theo with no need of daycare or playrooms. At this age, what a child most needs is attention from the close circle (mother and father) and yes, occasionally a babysitter or another playmate who has a fully loaded battery. (That is, beside other kids of course)

Blessings and kindness to every soul,
Sukhdev Kaur

Non attachment

It’s 3 am. Theo is 1.5 years old. Technically you could say he is ready to sleep through the night. Practically you could say he needs to be reassured of my presence during the night. I just spent about an hour trying to get him back to sleep. And unlike many other nights, I’m perfectly calm.
Is he waking up because he wants to bother me? Is he a sleepless rebel? Is he complotting against my sleep? Is he being spoiled? Should I be sleep training (or using some kind of no cry method to help him sleep through?
My answer to all this is clear: no.
As an intuitive mother I focus first on his well being. Not only physical (“his body needs full rest”) but also mental and spiritual. He needs to be treated with respect and loving kindness even in those wee hours of the night, when I and my mind are at our weakest point. Very easily this could all turn into a drama: I lose my patience and he will cry. That is all pointless because he will then be wide awake for the next couple of hours. Or I will just need to put more effort into getting him to calm down. But sometimes that’s what needs to happen.
In moments like this, I have learnt to become non attached. Being different from de-tachment, non-attachment implies having no expectations whatsoever. He might wake up, or fall asleep, or I may need to carry him around. There is no other purpose of my actions except being there for him, and contain him. I don’t just expect him to fall asleep because the fact that I want him to fall asleep. I’m open to being sensitive and responsive to him, whatever the outcome is.

“I love you because I love myself”. I am within me, centered, therefore I can be non attached to the action. And I am within me, centered, thus I am patience myself, cannot run out of it. I am within me, centered, therefore I can contain you, and to beyond human boundaries to provide you with heavenly values and qualities.

That is my focus, during these wee hours, that keeps me from losing it. A deeper meaning than just “get to sleep!” despair.

Because I love you and I love myself, and I owe this to both of us.

In gratitude for every challenge as an open door to the unknown,
Sukhdev Kaur

Now to sleep, because This is my chance!

Being very (selflessly) selfish

Sometimes I feel that extended breastfeeding, (by now we are 1.5 years and going strong) or even breastfeeding on demand, is a very selfish act. I get to have theo in my arms very often, it gives me a break, a pause in the day when I need to sit and just be (at the beginning this was really hard, sitting for so many hours), I don’t need to worry so much about that he eats so much, I don’t have to prepare any bottles, I get to be cuddled and caressed (he pulls at my hair all the time while breastfeeding), and and I get to reconnect. Those lovely eyes when he looks at me are killing. And the oxytocin of course! The rush in love hormones is priceless!
Well that compensates for the sleepless nights breastfeeding on and on (still waking many times to feed at night-I keep there as well an attitude of no hope). No sleep training in this house allowed, I want to be selfish, very selfish and feed him the breast, when he feels bad, sick, tired, hungry, overexcited, lost, happy and sleepy. All those times. I am very very selfish.
Part of this selfishness is not my fault. It was because my firstborn died and my cells have evperienced loss. They have come to know that what is one day, may not be the next. It is a cellular memory, I can’t do anything about it. So I’m selfish. and give the breast as if it was the last day I have.
Before we start judging we must accept that for every person, every situation, every relation, there is a destiny. And let’s accept that destiny without comparing. Tomorrow may be a whole different story.
So
Let’s be all very selflessly selfish.

A living prayer

I found an old post I feel the need to post it now.

This summer has been canceling after canceling one thing after the other… As if something big happening all around me was pulling me out.

It’s been an interesting journey to let go of plans and all hopes, to train myself to relax and just be. Although the mind wants to keep on driving, in reality there is no train to be running for.

So all this quitting and letting go of plans is something that needs to be done to create a vacuum, to go on with the circle of life. And to tell the truth, my mind doesn’t like to change plans or cancel commitments.
The best part is that the more goes away, the more I become centered. There has just been too much distraction to really just enjoy being at home, Being a mother.

So my intention and purpose in this life has been shifting. No more running after things, all I want is to become a living prayer. Like my mother. To elevate the vibration by just being (that doesn’t mean I don’t do anything anymore, it’s just the attitude), and to be on the moment where I am. To be, to be.

I am forever grateful to have such a wonderful mother. It was her constant prayer and devotion that has made me reach all that I have reached, that made me grow and serve. She is constantly vibrating light and love.

I can really see that the power of the mother’s prayer is a real thing and it trascends time and space, any shortcomings or temporary errors.

In gratitude, Sukhdev Kaur