Tag Archives: birthing

When you surrender

Becoming a mother is an act of surrendering. During the first months of the pregnancy, the psyche experiences a partition, an energetic and pranic division when the “I” no longer exists as it has been before, and it gives into the “you” or “we”. When the mother focuses her consciousness and can lovingly and humbly give her prayer to the child, that partition becomes a “thou”. During birth, the first and most physical separation between mother and child begins, leading into the second division of spiritual bodies and marks a path into the consciousness of the woman and child. If the mother is meditating, conscious and they experience a loving birthing process, the sacrifice of giving up the “I” into the “Thou” is smooth and conscious. The bond is created and reinforced by closeness, complete peace and a calm and elevating, loving environment (supported by father and other loved ones) in which mother and baby can totally be skin to skin, with the mother’s milk being the new physical link between mother and child, uninterrupted and without scheduling.

The Bear Mother by Bill Raid

The first months of life are laying the fundament for a lifetime. They shall not pass lightly. Specially for first time mothers, the act of surrendering becomes strong during this time. Lack of sleep, complete dedication into the child’s needs, giving up the ego-self and the life she had before are a big challenge which needs to be faced in a conscious and loving embrace.

In the contemporary society, the act of surrendering has got a negative connotation, usually related to history where we were imposed a sacrifice by a regime, a ruling party or religious authority. True sacrifice and surrendering comes from the wish of the soul to merge with the divine, and is an act of love and compassion.

There are many ways of describing this state of surrendering: Sacrificing the ego for the light in the soul, surrendering to the higher self, obeying the truth in all, trusting one’s destiny, humbly accepting and agreeing to what the universe brings us, and seeing them all as gifts in our spiritual growth. 

Guru Nanak wrote a very beautiful description of this surrendering in four paurees or stanzas of the JapJi Sahib (12-15):

Your state of consciousness cannot be described when you surrender and agree with your path and destiny. Anyone who tries to describe this will be sorry he tried.
There is no paper, no pen, no writer who can sit and reflect on this.
Such is the Naam, it makes you pure.
If you surrender and agree, you gain experience and align your mind with your soul. (12)

When you surrender, you gain the power to listen and intuition comes.
When you surrender, you gain all the wisdom of the universes and realms.
When you surrender, you will not be slapped on the face and you will be respected.
When you surrender, you will not die into this world.
Such is the Naam, it makes you pure. If you surrender and agree, you gain experience and align your mind with your soul. (13)

When you surrender, no obstacles will come your way.
When you surrender, you will go home with honor and radiance.
When you surrender, you will not wander in worldly paths.
When you surrender, you embrace the Dharma.
Such is the Naam, it makes you pure. If you surrender and agree, you gain experience and align your mind with your soul. (14)

When you surrender, you find the door to liberation (your 10th gate opens)
When you surrender, your family is liberated and goes across with you.
When you surrender, you cross over the world ocean taking the Guru’s Sikhs with you.
Oh Nanak! When you surrender, you do not wander as a beggar. 
Such is the Naam, it makes you pure. If you surrender and agree, you gain experience and align your mind with your soul. (15) 

My experience during the first six months of Theo’s life in this earth was the most intense surrendering. It was an act of love, and a conscious decision to surrender and become his guide. It was not an easy task, specially to let go of what I was, what I am and what I will be, as an individual, as a professional and as a teacher, in order to gain a new level of experience in the consciousness towards the divine. Sometimes, when I thought that this job as a mother was “useless”, e.g. holding sleeping Theo in my arms (for endless hours!) when I could be doing something more “useful”, I brought myself back into consciousness and inner focus, to let go of these thoughts (let them be) and find the bliss in obeying my destiny and lesson in the moment. On this last pauree (15) of surrendering, Guru Nanak gives the key to it all: you are liberated, not in your fantasy of escaping the reality, but it is a full liberation of your soul.

If motherhood (and babyhood) seems sometimes as a prison, that condition is a gift, since it is challenging the ego, which always wants to run away, to do and do and do, and escape the present moment. It is a gift given to connect with the soul and the real meaning of life. Nanak gave us the path of the householder, and it is while being a householder, a housewife, a mother, whatever you want to call it, that we can be liberated from our attachments to this worldly illusions and be deathless in our soul, touch others with this light of consciousness and radiate.

In deep love and gratitude of the divine,

Sukhdev Kaur

Tartus: Teadlik rasedus ja sünnitus, jooga kursus 25. märts

Sat nam!

25. märtsil külastame Tartut ja hommikul õpetan rasedate jooga mis ettevalmistab sünnituseks. Partnerid on ka teretulnud viimaseks tunniks.
Kursus algab kl 9:00 ja lõpeb 13:00.

“Laps õpib sinu kõhus. Kõik jõud, julgus, vaimsus ja inspiratsioon mis sa tahad temale anda, tee seda enne sünnitust. Kui laps on sinu kõhust väljunud, mäng on läbi. Pärast seda, ema on juht, põetaja, hooldaja. Ema roll algab kui laps on tema kõhus.” -Yogi Bhajan

Teemad mis me puudutame:

– Kuidas joogaga saad nautida oma rasedust ja sünnitust. Igapäevase harjutused, meditatsioonid ja mantrad.
– Muutused psüühikas raseduse ajal, sünnitusel ning imetamisel. 
– Kuidas keskenduda ja saada selget meelt
– Pranayam (hingamine) mis aitab sünnitusel ja pärast sünnitust. Hingamistehnika mis annab jõud.
– Emotsioonid, hirmud, väljakutsed.
– Ema ja naine, erinevad rollid
– Sünnitus: avades beebiväravat, emotsionaalne väljakutse, koostöö beebiga. Komplikatsioonid ja kui asjad ei lähe nii nagu oli plaanis. Alistumine beebi eluteele.
– Teadlik lapsevanem ja kuidas jooga saab aidata.

Kursusele on teretulnud rasedaid ja kõik naised kellel huvi on teada rohkem teadlikust rasedusest. Eelnev kogemus joogaga pole vajalik. Kursusel teeme jooga harjutused, mis tugevdavad keha ja närvisüsteem ja ettevalmistavad keha sünnituseks, hingamisharjutused, meditatsiionid ja räägime teadlikust rasedusest.

Kursus maksab 25 eur (20 eur etteregistreerimisel enne 23.03 makstes 10 eur Urban Dharma OÜ arvele 10220090076018 selgitus “Tartu rasedate jooga”). Partnerid on teretulnud kl 12ks ja jääda lõpuni.

Aadress: Küütri 14, sissepääs on hoovist ja 2. korrus.

Palun võta kaasa mugavad riided, matt või vaip/lambanahk et istuda põrandal, ühe patja ning tekk lõdvestamise ajaks, veepudel, kui vajad midagi näksida ja kirjutamisvahendid.

Rohkem infot:

Sukhdev Kaur
Tel. 5373 1839
Email. sukhdevkaur@khalsa.com

http://urbandharma.ee/conscious-pregnancy/

The things I learnt from my 40 days after birth

– Accepting that my child came to this world to learn something (even though I don’t know what it is) and that he has his own karma (which is partly also my karma). All that happens during birth and the first fourty days after birth (eg unexpected changes in plans, complications) is part of that higher plan in which we all fit in, although we don’t always see it.

– The only thing that never changes is that everything changes. Although it may seem that the sleepless nights will never end, they actually will end, sooner or later.

– It is unbelievable how flexible the human body, mind and heart can be. Allow yourself the flexibility to become a mother. I never would have imagined before that I could sleep in such strange and seemingly uncomfortable positions such as the ones I sleep in when Theo wants to sleep on top of me. And I did manage to sleep in such positions. Get someone to do a massage to recover from such events.

– Accept help from loved ones. I would not have managed to come out happily and easily out from the exhaustion of birth and postpartum without the great help from my parents. If it is cooking you a nice meal, rocking the baby while you take a nap, or even changing a diaper, bringing some food from the shop. From my mother I got great emotional and spiritual help and support with all kinds of new-mother’s questions.

– Trust your intuition. At first I thought that intuition would just be there or come instantly on the first cry of the baby, but I realised that it is something that builds up, that you learn together with your baby. It comes with listening to his needs, to your heart and to experiences. With each day I learnt something new and listening to what my baby wanted in an ethereal way. Trust that intuition, if you feel that this is what your baby is telling you he needs, then go for it. All others might say other things but YOU are the mother and your link with your child is infinite, beyond this world, indescribable. You don’t need to explain why and how you feel this is what your baby needs, just trust that feeling.

– Give yourself a moment each day, to be with yourself and meditate, stretch, breathe or at least enjoy a warm shower (for this you need the support of your husband or a loved one who takes care of the baby)

– Patience, patience, patience. And more patience. In the learning of anything new, you need to be attentive and listen, and have patience with your baby, with your partner, with yourself. Having a baby is a whole new yoga – union – and as any new yogas, you start from scratch and you need to build up on experience. Keep in mind always that union and that connection with the infinite which is beyond this world. In those long sleepless nights of the beginning, when there was no more hope to get sleep and patience was scarce, I thought  to myself (and to my baby) something like this “patience is nothing that I can run out of, since I have no patience, patience has me and it is endless”. For this, a great support was the affirmation by Yogi Bhajan “patience pays”. (words and affirmation here)

– See the big picture. This is a hard one. As a new mother, your baby draws you into a very small picture, which is only the space between you and him (usually, and ideally, only a few centimeters or not even that if you are often skin-to-skin). When it gets hard, like when your child is crying inconsolably at night because of colic, and you feel you cannot do anything (you have probably already tried everything), just open your heart, thank your child for crying and communicating (and thank god for giving your child lungs and the strength to cry), and open the space to uphold your child and his cry within your heart. It will soon be over (and if its not then there might be something more than just colic so check that) and your child will be off stress and sleeping soundly. Sometimes crying is needed (although every time Theo cries my heart shrinks to the size of a raisin). Seeing the big picture also implies understanding with the mind that these times will pass, so you might as well enjoy it. And it also means that there is a reason for everything – even your not understanding why he is crying or why he is not sleeping or eating as usual. Your baby is a human like you and me – somedays you are more hungry than others, some days in a bad mood. Just keep an open heart to accepting everything and not expecting anything in advance. Your child knows what he needs – trust that beyond anything others might say.

– Enjoy every moment. Everyone has heard stories of mothers who stay staring at their babies all the time, and accordingly melt to that vision. Allow yourself to fall in love with your child again and again. It is nature’s way of making sure everything is taken care of for our little ones, and to remind us that there are greater things in this world than we can ever think of with our functional brain.

– Allow yourself to shut down from the outside world. Even reading an email in the first days after birth was hard. No brain, no thinking was easy. Let someone else take care of the rational things, give yourself the time to be only with your baby and mind only baby business. 40 days in your life without having to worry about other things is such a short time after all.

– Learn from each other. Your child communicates with you every moment. Allow him the opportunity to communicate with you, and listen attentively. Listen to his changing needs, every day you can discover something new, in this amazingly quickly growing moment of his life. This is the time when he will change the most, grow the most and he needs the most support from you. Be with him, carry him as much as possible, protect and provide all he needs. Give him the security and strength you want him to have all his life, if you do this now he will have it forever. He will be self-confident, and I see that already after the 40 days, my baby who before wanted to be in my arms all the time, now he needs and demands his space and solitude for some times of the day. He can rest from his mother for a while, and he needs that space, already now.

– Relax. Every new mother wants to do everything perfectly. You are the perfect mother already, you don’t need to become it. I got into a lot of stress trying to do everything “right”, and after some hard lessons I realised that everything I do will be right for my child when I do it consciously. I cannot protect him from everything in this life, I can only do my best, and let God do the rest. If there are flaws in your partner, in your home, in yourself and in your day, it is fine. Just trust the infinite and relax. If a mother is stressed, the whole family and home is in stress. If you are happy, relaxed and centered in yourself, the home will be like that. Treat yourself and others kindly.

– Don’t think too much. It can damage your relationship with your partner, put you under lots of stress. Better just focus on your intuition and shut down your brain. In its due time, your brain can be re-awakened. Just focus on loving and providing all for your child, and love all, be compassionate to all (including yourself).

 

Honouring birth

Darkness, or almost, and . . . silence. 
A profound peace settles in the room.
You can feel the respect which naturally
attends the arrival of a baby.
One doesn’t shout in a church.
One spontaneously lowers one’s voice.
If there is such a thing as a sanctified place, surely
it is the room the child is about to enter.

– Frederick Leboyer, quote from the book Birth Without Violence, read the whole book here

Conscious pregnancy workshop in Helsinki

Sat nam!

Im happy to announce that I will be coming to Helsinki to share the teachings on women, pregnancy, birth and beyond from the tradition of Kundalini Yoga. Me (and my 6-month pregnant belly) will be sharing techniques, yoga exercises, nutritional tips, meditations, dances and personal experiences. All are welcome to join! Information is in the poster below.

Love and blessings, Sukhdev K

Teadlik rasedus – kursus algab juba märtsis!

Sat nam!

Varsti algab meie heaks kiidetud sari veelkord, kus beebiootel naised saavad koos joogat teha, jagada oma kogemused, küsimused, jne. Iga kord tutvustan uus teema mis on väga oluline rasedusel, sünnitusel ja naise elus. Seekord mina ise olen ka beebiootel ja samamoodi jagan enda kogemused teise rasedusega, ning loodan et leiate sellest palju inspiratsioon, vaprust, armastust ja julgust olla teadlik oma lapseoote ajal – ja pärast ka!

õnnistusi,  Sukhdev K

Autumn yoga season starting!

Sat Nam! I am happy to have finished the Conscious pregnancy course with Tarn Taran Kaur Khalsa from USA and Seva Kaur from Norway. It was great having them around, and to have about 20 lovely women who also studied and are ready to uplift others! And tomorrow Sarabjit Kaur Khalsa from Madrid is coming to teach on the KY Teacher training level 1.

  • Regular Kundalini Yoga classes will start September 1, 2010 until December.
  • and Conscious Pregnancy yoga classes are starting already next week!
  • Besides that, I will have a Beginners course in september (more info soon), a Women’s class and a Numerology course in november.
  • Kundalini Yoga level 1 Teacher Training is starting in March, 2011.
  • Also, private Sat Nam Rasayan healing sessions and numerology consultations in the autumn (call for booking)


Conscious pregnancy © Kundalini yoga classes for pregnancy:

All pregnant women are welcome! I will have Drop-in classes (in Estonian and if needed in English) until October 5th, and then a deeper 10-week course which will cover all the subjects related to pregnancy, birth and beyond, from the 120 days from conception when the soul enters the body, to pregnancy massage, facing challenges, pain and fear of birth, conscious breathing and birthing, beyond birth and baby in your arms.

a quote on birthing

(When discussing fear of “losing it” on giving birth)

… “There is the thought ‘I will collapse, I will cease to be’. You as you have known yourself will dissolve. Who you think you are dissolves, because who you think you are is built on ‘I’m doing well, I’m doing bad’ ”

– Gangaji. Quoted on the book Birthing from within, by Pam England and Rob Horowitz