Category Archives: parenting

Radiant Woman, Radiant Parents – Workshop with Gurujagat

Sat nam armsad,
Kutsun teid suurepärasele õhtule Gurujagat Kauriga (Prantsusmaalt) uues keskuses Dharamsaalis. Selle sündmusega tähistame uue keskuse avamist! Kutsun ja ootan teid väga osalema.

(Info in English please scroll down)

Kiirgav Naine, Kiirgavad Vanemad 
Kundalini jooga meistritund Gurujagat Kaur’iga (France)gurujagat_kaur_yoga_doula

 

Koht: Dharamsaal, Kundalini jooga ja Humanoloogia keskus (Liivalaia 11-14, Tallinn)
Annetus: soovituslikult 12-15 eurot
Aeg: Kolmapäev 18.06, kl 19:30-21:30
Tund on avatud kõigile ja toimub inglise keeles! Kui vajad tõlget, palun kontakteeru.Õhtune praktika jooga, meditatsiooni ja avatud küsimuste-vastuste ringiga teemadel teadlik viljastamine ja rasedus, püha sünnitusjärgne periood ning teadlik lapsevanemlus. Teretulnud on nii mehed kui ka naised kõikide teemadesse puudutavate küsimustega, hoolimata sellest, kas oled lapsevanem või mitte.Gurujagat Kaur (Prantsusmaa) tutvus Kundalini joogaga 1975. aastal, elades Amsterdamis Euroopa ema-ashramis 11 aastat. Seal olles pühendus ta süvitsi Yogi Bhajani õpetuste uurimisele ja praktiseerimisele. Ta on ema neljale lapsele ja seeläbi puutunud kokku iidsete, kuid samal ajal modernsete, ayurveedalike emaks olemise õpetustega. Gurujagat on üle 25 aasta toetanud naisi, paare ja perekondi lapsevanemaks kasvamise teel. Lisaks on ta õppinud suhtlemispsühholoogiat, NLP-d, Vägivallatut suhtlemist ja pere-ning abielunõustamist, et rikastada oma oskusi holistilise terapeudi ja koolitajana. Täna soovib ta jagada oma väärtuslikke kogemusi Sinuga!
Avatud õhtu toimub Yoga Doula ja Teadliku Rasedate jooga koolituse raames. Sellest rohkem infot siitLisainfo:
Sukhdev Kaur
+372 53731839  sukhdevkaur@khalsa.com
DHARAMSAAL- Kundalini jooga ja Humanoloogia keskus Tallinnas

Radiant Woman, Radiant Parents
Kundalini yoga master class with Gurujagat Kaur (France) gurujagat_kaur_yoga_doula

Place: Dharamsaal, Center of Kundalini Yoga and Humanology (Liivalaia 11-14, Tallinn)
Donation: 12-15 eur suggested
Time: Wednesday 18.06, 19:30 – 21:30 hrs
Open to all public!
Class will be taught in English language. If you require translation into Estonian please contact us.

An evening with practice of yoga and meditation and open Questions and Answers around the themes of Conscious Conception, Conscious Pregnancy, Sacred Postnatal time and Conscious Parenting. All questions are welcome and all men and women interested in the topic, regardless of being parents or not.

Gurujagat Kaur (France) came first across Kundalini Yoga in 1975 in Amsterdam. She shared the yogic lifestyle in the European Mother-Ashram for 11 years, studying and practicing the vast teachings of Yogi Bhajan. Giving birth to four children enabled her to put into practice the ancient yet modern ayurvedic maternity tradition. For over 25 years she has accompanied women, couples and families on this beautiful path to becoming parents. Courses in Human Relations, NLP, Non-Violent Communication and Family and Marital Counseling enhance her yogic background as a holistic trainer. Today, she wishes to share this treasure of knowledge and experiences with you.

The open evening is organized in the framework of the Yoga Doula and Conscious Pregnancy yoga training. More information on the training HEREMore information:
Sukhdev Kaur
+372 53731839  sukhdevkaur@khalsa.com

DHARAMSAAL- Center of Kundalini Yoga and Humanology in Tallinn, Estonia
http://www.dharamsaal.ee“That is the first sign, the first qualification of a Kundalini Yoga Teacher–that he goes through calamity with a radiant smile, he deals with another person with a most humble understanding and he lives in the core relationship of Imperial Majesty.” ~ Yogi Bhajan

 

Beebi ja emme jooga tunnid 2013 sügisel

 “By construction, the fulfillment of a woman is motherhood; and motherhood does not mean that she gets pregnant and delivers a baby. If you understand her total behavior, you will understand her motherhood. Her motherhood is service, her motherhood is sacrifice, her motherhood is relationship. When she knows motherhood, she is fulfilled.” – Yogi Bhajan

Värskele emadele on võimalik tulla koos oma lapsega joogatamas. Sellel sügisel alustame 14. november, kokku 5 tundi, neljapäeviti kl 10-11.
See on väga ülendav kogemus lapsele ning emadele suurepärane võimalus oma kodune rutiinist välja tulla ja olla teiste emade seas, kellel on samad küsimused ja mured kui sinulgi ning tuleme üheskoos et omavahel toetada ning tõsta oma vibratsioonid et meil oleks beebidele ja perele jaksu.

Rohkem infot Beebi ja emme jooga tundide kohta SIIT
 

God-like parenting

This is probably the most important thing I have learnt from the master about parenting. Although he said it directly only a few times, this concept resonates within all of Yogiji’s teachings on parenting.

And it is actually a very simple idea, easy to remember, yet takes a lot of courage and practice to apply. I like to call it god-like parenting.

In your parenting, act like god. Talk to your children like god would talk to them, heave like god, dress like god, act like god, love like god, forgive like god, be compassionate like god, be humble like god, graceful, radiant and patient like god.

But what does that mean exactly? Well, to me god is the existence beyond any limitations. It is the limitless, infinite, liberated part of me (and of each and every one) that escapes all descriptions, all faults and flaws, in one word- all limits. In other woes, god is the experience of the infinite within. That vast source of ecstasy, of boundless love, strength, courage, and all qualities you find in the realm of the higher self. God, in a way, is the exponential potential you, your great potential expanded exponentially.

So to say that as a parent (or as a person really! In all your actions) you must be patient like god, it means that your patience must not be limited. This is easily brought to light many times having a nursing toddler who is tossing and turning trying to fight imminent sleep. Just remain patient when you feel your patience reaches a limit, just reach out for your god-like backpack of infinite patience. And believe me, it works.
And do the same with each and every quality you attach to the word god.
Do not believe me, just try it.
You will surprise yourself of how great, magnificent, kind and graceful you can be.
In humble service of the divine within all,
Sukhdev Kaur

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A few words on patience

My patience is actually over from day one since you were born. All this patience which I have, is actually not my patience but god’s inexhaustible patience, by Guru’s grace given to me to sustain you, and it is only through a god-like consciousness that I am able to sustain it. There is nothing else. Those nights when I feel I have run out of patience, my own limited patience which is already long time lost, I sense I am limited. But If I am able to reconnect and allow the flow of this ever infinite flow of god through me, and pray for that patience, and vibrate higher and higher vibrations, then everything is alright.
All is god’s will
That’s the guru’s gift

The cleaning lady from my kindergarten

Today I am sharing a personal childhood memory. I’m doing this because it is very vivid, since I have experienced the same through Theo and other children at the daycare center.

Lets go back to Mexico in the 1980s.
Kindergarten. A very beautiful blue building, two actually, surrounding a big playground which had two carrousels, animals you could climb, lots of slides, rings, even a pool. Dreamland. Lots of children who were very happy. And I remember the fence. That metal fence where mama would walk out and sit in the car for hours peeking if I was ok. I don’t remember much of inside of the buildings because I was probably very rarely there. I cried all the time. I didn’t want to go there. I wanted mami. I cried so much, teachers couldn’t take care of me while holding the group. So a very kind lady, the cleaning lady, would spend the mornings holding me and riding the carrousel. I remember her kindness, her compassion, and I don’t remember any of the other teachers, nor much other than that putter playground.
The kindergarten itself was very posh and on the edge of new technologies. That was on the early 80s. I do remember the English classroom. It was on the farther building, on the first floor. There were these big headphones hanging from the ceiling, ones over each chair, and children would put those and listen to (a tape?) the English lessons. It was scary to say the least. But it was high end technology.
Back to the playground. The carrousel. The kind cleaning lady. My sadness, I missed my mami. And she was heartbroken herself she left me there. And I was not a small child, I must have been 4 or 5 years old.
I must say though that my mother was the most caring and loving person I could have asked for. She never left us alone. She was practicing mostly attachment parenting without that term even existing back then. She left her professional life, her whole career behind to stay home with us kids. No blame or guilt intended here whatsoever.

Fast forward to 2013, and my feelings come alive when we are trying out a daycare center with Theo. I stayed with him all morning (we were there for two hours actually), and all this time a little boy, about 2.5 years old, was crying for his mommy. My heart went out to him. Of course, the care takers were in a hard situation, having to deal with him and at the same time take care of all children. And having parents around. The poor boy kept crying until we left, and we left early mostly because my nervous system was so tired from hearing that boy cry. We came home and I slept so deep rejuvenating sleep I needed to heal that inside me.
All te time I felt like reaching out for that boy. Of course he didn’t want that, he wanted mommy. (And I didn’t try, who knows who might feel I’m exceeding the boundaries by hugging a boy). He was clinging into one caretaker, but mostly she was urging him to play or ignoring his cries. And all the other children were looking at him now and then. It was pretty intense.
As a mother, maybe I am too sensitive. Because of how I am, probably influenced also by the fact that I lost my first child. I am extremely compassionate and in any situation I feel the impulse to reach out to those in need.
So I was holding myself today. It was, after all, not my issue. But I did reflect on the fact of how that whole situation is affecting the psyche of that child, the other children, the caretakers and all. It felt to me that that boy, same as me 30 years ago, was not ready to take that step. At the same time, my heart goes to the mother, who was probably in a situation that had to put her child there. And to the caretakers, in such a difficult task.
I do believe strongly that I can express all what I feel. I felt that child’s feelings being neglected, everybody pretending he was not in a deep state of grief. And I don’t want my child to learn such rudeness. Also a little more love from the caretakers could have changed the whole situation. Of a lot more love, which was what the boy needed. A group hug, having all the other children acknowledge what was going on instead of ignoring it, having all children sing to him so he could heal. I thought of making those suggestions but felt it was not my place, as I’m an observer. (Probably I should have). I feel we need a lot more kindness, understanding, reaching out to others in this world. Love, treating others as they are worth, as respected human beings, evermore when they are desperately crying it out for help. They communicate, but we ignore it. They learn that speaking out is useless. So they submit, learn to ignore their emotions, dig them down deep and keep them for themselves. And yes, at some point that child will give up his cries, and prove that we won the battle, but aren’t we the ones who must give up our ideas of how a child must behave? Of how much love or kindness he needs? Aren’t we te ones who are not understanding the signals, when he uses all his might to communicate as a complete human being worth of being listened to? Aren’t we the ones who should stop pretending to ignore and deal creatively and lovingly with every challenging situation?
Instead of telling him “don’t cry, mama will come” (and him waiting for mama for one second, and asking again- *small children don’t have the sense if time as adults do), showing him lovingly “yes, mama is not here, it is very sad, but we are all here for you!”. Maybe it doesn’t work and I’m just stupid, but trying it (for 100 times, not less) doesn’t hurt anyone. In fact it may teach the other children to reach out. And make the day lighter and brighter for everyone.

At the end I listened to my intuition (after all, I am teaching about intuition right!) and have had such a wonderful time together with Theo with no need of daycare or playrooms. At this age, what a child most needs is attention from the close circle (mother and father) and yes, occasionally a babysitter or another playmate who has a fully loaded battery. (That is, beside other kids of course)

Blessings and kindness to every soul,
Sukhdev Kaur

Harmonious Communication

Sat nam dear friends,

This year I have been very profoundly examinating my own communication, trying to get rid of any violence in it, any demands, any disharmony which is present in my words. I do find that communication is one of the most important ways of how we can impact others, touch them with the wind of compassion, and elevate ourselves and others. Here is 5 simple (yet deep) rules of how to improve your communication:

Yogi Bhajan’s rules of harmonious communication.

  1. You are communicating for a better tomorrow, not to spoil today.
  2. Whatever you are going to say is going to live forever. And you have to live through it. Therefore, take care so you don’t have to live through the mud of your own communication.
  3. One wrong word said can do much more wrong than you can even imagine or estimate.
  4. Words spoken are a chance for communication. Don’t turn them into war.
  5. When you communicate, you have to communicate again. Don’t make the road rough.

-From the book The Aquarian Teacher. Teacher Training in Kundalini yoga by Yogi Bhajan.

Now I realise, I may have posted this before. Nevertheless, it will never lose its importance!

Blessings and a harmonious communication to all!

-Sukhdev K

 

Communicate for a better tomorrow

A truly conscious and harmonious communication is a great challenge for all onus humans. Specially is we haven’t grown up with that, or we don’t have any experience on that. Yet it is the key to all success, specially in relationships, in family life, in parenting.
It is a challenge, yet as with all great challenges we are posed a choice: do we keep communicating to hurt each other, to feed our own negative habitual communication, keep reacting and feeding our selfish ego, or do we choose to be conscious every time and transcend the present situation in order for a better future. That means sometimes compromising our own way of seeing the world (eg I know that I am right and you are wrong!…) and:
1) learning to see the other’s point of view = EMPATHY
2) understanding the other through COMPASSION (maybe they at slower to learn, or they just can’t understand our point of view?)
3) keep communicating (non violently), explain everything you think and you need and NEVER taking anything for granted.
4) all communication is meant to elevate us (both sides!) = UPLIFT the other!
5) be civilised. Usually we behave like beasts while communicating (throwing our own garbage to the other, being emotional, reactive). Take at least 9 seconds to respond. And don’t communicate in the heat of anger or resentment.
6) patience, patience and more patience. And relax… You can communicate better when you are relaxed (even though your needs maybe have not been met)
7) LISTEN. Listen carefully and patiently. Try to imagine how the other is feeling and UNDERSTAND that the other has also needs to be met, although he may not know how to express them. Don’t go into “I’m right and you are wrong”, because actually, both are always right, since each of you is alive and has needs. Be an active listener to what the other is saying, not to what your mind is telling you (usually already cooking an answer?)

Here are Yogi Bhajans 5 rules for Harmonious Communication:
http://www.3ho.org/kundalini-yoga/humanology/communication/

Blessed blessed be thy communication, angelic, blissful, uplifting, healing and full of life!

In gratitude (quickly writing from my iPod 🙂
Sukhdev Kaur

Non attachment

It’s 3 am. Theo is 1.5 years old. Technically you could say he is ready to sleep through the night. Practically you could say he needs to be reassured of my presence during the night. I just spent about an hour trying to get him back to sleep. And unlike many other nights, I’m perfectly calm.
Is he waking up because he wants to bother me? Is he a sleepless rebel? Is he complotting against my sleep? Is he being spoiled? Should I be sleep training (or using some kind of no cry method to help him sleep through?
My answer to all this is clear: no.
As an intuitive mother I focus first on his well being. Not only physical (“his body needs full rest”) but also mental and spiritual. He needs to be treated with respect and loving kindness even in those wee hours of the night, when I and my mind are at our weakest point. Very easily this could all turn into a drama: I lose my patience and he will cry. That is all pointless because he will then be wide awake for the next couple of hours. Or I will just need to put more effort into getting him to calm down. But sometimes that’s what needs to happen.
In moments like this, I have learnt to become non attached. Being different from de-tachment, non-attachment implies having no expectations whatsoever. He might wake up, or fall asleep, or I may need to carry him around. There is no other purpose of my actions except being there for him, and contain him. I don’t just expect him to fall asleep because the fact that I want him to fall asleep. I’m open to being sensitive and responsive to him, whatever the outcome is.

“I love you because I love myself”. I am within me, centered, therefore I can be non attached to the action. And I am within me, centered, thus I am patience myself, cannot run out of it. I am within me, centered, therefore I can contain you, and to beyond human boundaries to provide you with heavenly values and qualities.

That is my focus, during these wee hours, that keeps me from losing it. A deeper meaning than just “get to sleep!” despair.

Because I love you and I love myself, and I owe this to both of us.

In gratitude for every challenge as an open door to the unknown,
Sukhdev Kaur

Now to sleep, because This is my chance!