A truly conscious and harmonious communication is a great challenge for all onus humans. Specially is we haven’t grown up with that, or we don’t have any experience on that. Yet it is the key to all success, specially in relationships, in family life, in parenting.
It is a challenge, yet as with all great challenges we are posed a choice: do we keep communicating to hurt each other, to feed our own negative habitual communication, keep reacting and feeding our selfish ego, or do we choose to be conscious every time and transcend the present situation in order for a better future. That means sometimes compromising our own way of seeing the world (eg I know that I am right and you are wrong!…) and:
1) learning to see the other’s point of view = EMPATHY
2) understanding the other through COMPASSION (maybe they at slower to learn, or they just can’t understand our point of view?)
3) keep communicating (non violently), explain everything you think and you need and NEVER taking anything for granted.
4) all communication is meant to elevate us (both sides!) = UPLIFT the other!
5) be civilised. Usually we behave like beasts while communicating (throwing our own garbage to the other, being emotional, reactive). Take at least 9 seconds to respond. And don’t communicate in the heat of anger or resentment.
6) patience, patience and more patience. And relax… You can communicate better when you are relaxed (even though your needs maybe have not been met)
7) LISTEN. Listen carefully and patiently. Try to imagine how the other is feeling and UNDERSTAND that the other has also needs to be met, although he may not know how to express them. Don’t go into “I’m right and you are wrong”, because actually, both are always right, since each of you is alive and has needs. Be an active listener to what the other is saying, not to what your mind is telling you (usually already cooking an answer?)
Here are Yogi Bhajans 5 rules for Harmonious Communication:
Blessed blessed be thy communication, angelic, blissful, uplifting, healing and full of life!
In gratitude (quickly writing from my iPod 🙂