Being very (selflessly) selfish

Sometimes I feel that extended breastfeeding, (by now we are 1.5 years and going strong) or even breastfeeding on demand, is a very selfish act. I get to have theo in my arms very often, it gives me a break, a pause in the day when I need to sit and just be (at the beginning this was really hard, sitting for so many hours), I don’t need to worry so much about that he eats so much, I don’t have to prepare any bottles, I get to be cuddled and caressed (he pulls at my hair all the time while breastfeeding), and and I get to reconnect. Those lovely eyes when he looks at me are killing. And the oxytocin of course! The rush in love hormones is priceless!
Well that compensates for the sleepless nights breastfeeding on and on (still waking many times to feed at night-I keep there as well an attitude of no hope). No sleep training in this house allowed, I want to be selfish, very selfish and feed him the breast, when he feels bad, sick, tired, hungry, overexcited, lost, happy and sleepy. All those times. I am very very selfish.
Part of this selfishness is not my fault. It was because my firstborn died and my cells have evperienced loss. They have come to know that what is one day, may not be the next. It is a cellular memory, I can’t do anything about it. So I’m selfish. and give the breast as if it was the last day I have.
Before we start judging we must accept that for every person, every situation, every relation, there is a destiny. And let’s accept that destiny without comparing. Tomorrow may be a whole different story.
So
Let’s be all very selflessly selfish.

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One thought on “Being very (selflessly) selfish”

  1. mi linda que hermoso,,,, ves porque te amo y mi corazon se extremese al leer tus pensamientos tan especiales,hijita te amo con todo mi ser y mi cordon te jala y te jala para decirte aqui estoy chiquita,para ti,,, ve dentro de tU corazon y aHI ESTAN MIS MANOS Y MIS OJOS PARA CUIDARTE Y PROTEJERTE SIEMPRE,Y AHORA YA SE HICIERON GRANDES PARA ALCANZAR A THEO.AQUI ESTOY SIEMPRE PARA USTEDES LOS AMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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