On those moments of despair, when baby is crying uncontrollably every second hour of the night, I see his pain (emotional pain mostly) and I know that I can’t do anything to change that, there must come a higher power to remember and remind baby that he is part of
god, that the universe holds him and to remember the connection to the soul. To dwell in god and find strength within, mostly as the mother, and call that unconditional and indescribable love for this soul in a wordly pain, opening up the space in order to allow the healing to happen. In those moments, I bow to the infinite wisdom to shield us and protect us and cover for us and that pain, since love is beyond all patience and suffering. Holding the baby, providing warmth, protection, safety, compassion, understanding and love is sometimes all that we can do for them. That is already a high blessing. When Theo cries, I constantly thank him for letting me know of his needs, there is nothing greater than the power to be alive and breathing and ask for what you need. I remember that longing to hear Vida’s cry when I lost her, and that is a constant reminder of the bliss behind every challenge in motherhood. Thank you Theo for crying.
Patience pays. Staying with the baby for the first 40 days of his life helps to build him strong in self-confidence and to reassure him that he has a place in this world.
Now that our 40 days are coming to an end, i am very thankful that I had this time to get to know Theo so well and also to see him grow and mature so quickly. Its amazing to see how fast time goes, and all the changes that it brings.